"I was very determined to keep this baby, but my willpower was very low." Finding Her Way Through an Unplanned Pregnancy

At 21, with school, work, friendships, late night hangouts, and the freedom to explore, life is often just beginning. For Reiko, everything shifted when she found out she was pregnant. "I was still in school... less than a year into university," she shared. "I didn't know how to tell my parents."

In a moment that felt overwhelming and uncertain, she asked her boyfriend, now her husband, to break the news to her parents while she was at work. At that time, studying in university and working part-time jobs were part of her routine. But with the pregnancy, everything had to change. "I had to quit my job. I became jobless overnight." And it was very hard to find a job because I was pregnant."

Art Expressions by Reiko:

"This work is my personal DNA of dreams and aspirations. The dark blue and mixed hues at the top left mirror my questioning mind, full of curiosity and uncertainty. The blue flows like water, teaching me to let go and move forward. The soft pink, born from blending colours, reminds me of the obstacles I've overcome. At the bottom, the yellow glows like sunshine — the warmth and hope I strive to reach. The phrase "To Find Love In Between The Lines" is my reminder to seek tenderness and meaning even in the quiet, unseen spaces of life."

When Everything Feels Uncertain

An unplanned pregnancy can come with intense pressure, especially when education, finances, and relationships all feel uncertain.

For Reiko, it was all at once.

"There was no income... my husband was working, but it was commission-based, we were not financially stable." Even as Reiko and her husband tried to move forward, planning their wedding during exam season, the weight of everything became too much.

"I was four months pregnant and so stressed... I told him, 'I don't want the baby anymore." What began as uncertainty slowly turned into emotional strain.

"I felt resentment... like if I wasn't pregnant, I could do so much more."

Feeling Alone in Her Journey

Although she had friends, she felt deeply alone.

"We were all 21... they were busy hanging out, studying... I couldn't relate."

This sense of isolation is something many women experience during an unplanned pregnancy, especially when their lives begin to move in a different direction from those around them.

"I was taking care of myself alone, with no other help."

In her lowest moments, the thoughts became heavier.

"I thought of divorce. I thought of aborting the baby... It was the darkest period for me."

A Quiet Turning Point

In the midst of uncertainty, one conversation shifted something.

Late one night, around 1am, Reiko's husband decided to tell his mother. Her response was unexpected. "She said, 'Just keep the baby... We will help you.'"

But what stayed with Reiko more was this: "She told me, eventually it is up to my decision, because it was me who is giving birth."

That space to choose, without pressure, mattered.

Finding Support When It Mattered Most

Of course, the emotional weight did not disappear overnight.

Feeling overwhelmed and alone, she reached out to aLife. "That's when I called... I needed support for this pregnancy."

What she found was not quick answers, but presence. "My social worker called me at 9pm, trying to comfort me."

From there, support became consistent and personal. "I started going for counselling once a month... she would always come over to wherever I am."

Even in short sessions, it made a difference. "It was always like an hour plus only... but it still gave me that strength."

In a season where everything felt uncertain, having someone listen, without judgement, became a steady source of emotional support.

The Reality No One Talks About

Looking back, Reiko reflects on what she wishes she had known.

"People keep telling me no it is very easy one... newborn is the easiest stage. I had this very high expectation." But reality was different.

"Nobody told me you will argue with your husband. I had this very high expectation that after I give birth it will be easier. But no!"

Like many new mothers, often without enough preparation, she found herself navigating not just a baby, but changes in identity, relationships, and daily life. "I was so lost... I didn't have a lot of resources. I didn't ask the right questions."

Her advice now is simple, but honest: "Learn more... not just the beautiful side of motherhood you see on social media, but the real side."

Growth in Unexpected Places

Today, when she reflects on her motherhood journey, her perspective has shifted.

"I am very lucky to have him here today."

Motherhood, though unplanned, became a turning point. "Without him, I think I won't grow. I will still be stuck, hanging out with friends, going out at night, spending money."

Instead, something new began. "I started my own baby clothes business when I was pregnant."

In ways she did not expect, this season led her to discover new purpose. "The thoughts wouldn't come if I didn't have a baby. I won't be able to do so much more without him."

A Different Kind of Love

Reiko's journey was not easy. It was filled with doubt, fear, and moments where she felt like giving up. But it was also a journey of growth.

She chose to gave life to her son, Renjiro, and he gave that back to her.

There is no perfect ending, but there is something real.

Both are blessings to one another.

You Are Not Alone

Every unplanned pregnancy journey is different. Some are filled with certainty, others with questions. Many carry both.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or alone, there is support available.

Here in Singapore, at aLife, we provide a safe, non-judgemental, and confidential space for you to share, process, and take one step at a time.

Reach out to us at 9183 4483. We are here with you.

To Reiko,

Just as you chose to give life to Renjiro, you have encouraged many with your story. Your life radiates hope and gives life to others, present and future. We are cheering you on not just as you continue your journey of motherhood, but through life to come as well! Thank you for trusting us to journey with you, and for choosing to share your story.

With love, aLife.