Facing my abortion alone. A weight (literally) lifted off me.
Wednesday, 2.45am
My eyelids had grown heavy from reading articles, resources, hospitals…The list goes on and as I lay on my bed, staring at the blank ceiling above me,
I made my decision.
Friday, 11.30am
I boarded the bus
On the way, I look out the window
You’re on Your Own, Kid by Taylor Swift resonates in my ear
12.10pm
I arrive and cautiously step through the doors
My hands are slick in sweat, trembling
I look around at the women around me with their partners
I suspect I’m the youngest here
12.15pm
The receptionist prompts me for my identification card
She was casual, nice.
But all I could think was “How harshly is she judging me?’
12.30pm
I had my consultation with the gynae
He was nice and re-confirmed my pregnancy
I told him what I had decided.
12.45pm
I was brought into a cold, sterile room.
The clinic nurse offers me a blanket
I was made to watch a counselling video about the abortion process
It made me sad and I tried hard not to think about it.
1.20pm
Before I knew it, the procedure was over.
It was done.
As I step back into the world outside, a weight had been lifted. In my solitude, I felt a mix of emotions. Relief washed over me — I had made a choice, and now I could move forward. Yet, that relief was tinged with sadness, a bittersweet acknowledgment of what I had left behind and the possibilities I had surrendered. The emptiness lingered on, like a hollow echo in my chest. It was a reminder of the gravity of my decision, a void that whispered of potential and loss. I glanced at the bustling streets around me, life continuing in its vibrant chaos, and I wondered how many others were also carrying their own hidden burdens.
If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483. Remember that you're not alone.
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