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- Coffee and Pregnancy: What’s the Deal?
For many moms-to-be, coffee is more than just a drink. It’s a lifestyle staple. As coffee contains caffeine, a powerful stimulant for the body, the question many pregnant mums may ask is , “Will caffeine harm my baby? Do I have to give up my morning brew?” Caffeine increases your heart rate and boosts energy levels. It can cross the placenta and affect the fetus. Over the years, people have been concerned about whether it may affect fetal brain development. Earlier studies have shown that increased coffee consumption during pregnancy is associated with the child having neurodevelopmental difficulties. These may include difficulties with language, motor skills, attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. Since developing babies aren’t able to process caffeine as efficiently as adults, high amounts may lead to these issues. However, recent research which looked at 58,694 Norwegian mothers over 2 decades has found no causal link between drinking coffee during pregnancy and the child’s neurodevelopmental difficulties. That means it is safe to keep drinking coffee. According to international guidelines, low to moderate consumption is safe for the mother and developing baby. For most people, that means sticking to below 200mg of caffeine per day – which is roughly equivalent to one 12-ounce cup of coffee. What Does 200 Milligrams Look Like? A typical 8-ounce cup of brewed coffee contains about 95 milligrams of caffeine , while a 12-ounce cup contains around 140 milligrams . So, as long as you stick to around 12 ounces or less per day, you are good to go. But caffeine isn’t just in coffee. If you drink tea, nibble on chocolate, or gulp down a soda drink, you are consuming caffeine, too. A 12-ounce can of soda has about 35 milligrams of caffeine , and a cup of black tea contains roughly 47 milligrams . If you love energy drinks, you might want to be extra careful—some can contain 200 milligrams or more per serving . The Perks of Coffee During Pregnancy For many women, a daily coffee break is good for their mental wellness. Coffee can bring a sense of calm and normalcy, especially during a time when pregnancy is causing so many changes in the body. Exhaustion is common especially in the later part of pregnancy. A cup of coffee can be of help when you are battling fatigue or trying to stay focused during your daily routine. Tips for Enjoying Coffee Safely While moderate coffee intake is safe, there are a few tips you can keep in mind to ensure you’re staying on track with your caffeine consumption: Chart Your Caffeine Intake : Keep an eye on all sources of caffeine, not just your coffee. Make a note of teas, chocolate, and sodas you might be consuming throughout the day. Try Decaffeinated coffee : If you’re someone who loves the ritual of coffee but wants to lower your caffeine intake, decaffeinated coffee is a great option Change to alternatives : You can swap your coffee for an alternative like herbal teas, a smoothie, or a caffeine-free latte. Sip Smart, Stay Relaxed Pregnancy is a time full of changes, but you do not have to give up coffee completely. A daily cup of coffee is more than just a caffeine boost—it is a moment of “me time,” a ritual that brings joy. As long as you keep it to one or two cups a day , you can enjoy your brew without guilt.
- Healthy Lifestyle Habits for Busy Mums
Being a mum is a full-time job and it’s easy to put your personal needs on the back burner. But remember that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of the family. Start Your Day With A Breakfast Boost Breakfast is the fuel that kickstarts your hectic day. Think of oatmeal topped with fruit or scrambled eggs with veggies. Both options provide the nutrients you need without adding too much sugar to your diet. Stay Active With Fun Family Activities You don’t need a gym membership to stay fit. Turn family time into fun workout time! Go for bike rides, play tag in the park or dance around the living room. These activities keep you moving and make exercise feel less like a chore. Plus, your kids will love it! Drink Up & Stay Hydrated Drinking more fluids especially water helps keep you hydrated throughout the day. Carry a water bottle wherever you go and set reminders on your phone to drink water throughout the day. Adding a slice of lemon or cucumber can make water extra refreshing. Snack The Smart Way When the hunger pangs hit, it’s tempting to grab chips or candy. Instead, stock up on healthy snacks. Think yogurt, nuts or fresh fruit. These snacks not only satisfy your cravings but also provide your body with energy and nutrients. Prioritise Sleep (Zzzz) Sleep is essential, but it’s often the first thing we skip when we have a dozen things to do at the same time. Think of rest like charging your phone; without it, you won't function right. Establish a bedtime routine, so that you can wind down after a long day. Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep. If it’s hard to settle down, try reading a book or listening to calming music. Connect With Your Community Make time to meet with friends, join a book club or simply connect with other mums. Sharing experiences can do wonders for your mental well-being. Take a Moment for Yourself (Or Two) In the chaos of daily life, it’s crucial to take a breather. Try mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation. Just a few minutes of quiet time can clear your head and make you feel refreshed. Think of it as pressing a reset button when you're stressed out. Set Small Goals Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be complicated. Remember, it’s all about making small, manageable changes that fit into your busy schedule. Whether it’s cooking a healthy meal, bonding over family activities or simply taking a moment for yourself, a small change can go a long way. Viva busy mums! *Tips are solely the writer's opinion and in no way represent a medical point of view. If you have special dietary needs, please consult your doctor before following our tips.
- The Love of A Mother: Growing With Each Passing Day
Love is often described as unconditional, selfless, self-sacrificial or even tough, painful and unreciprocated. Society expects a mother, especially a new one, to immediately shower her new born child with all the love a human can possibly feel and show. No one stops to consider the hours prior to this joyous moment. The pain and emotional turmoil the woman has endured. "Mummy, I'm completely dependent on you!" Seconds after my first daughter was born, she was placed gently on my chest. My first thought was…wow she’s purple! Next, she’s slimy! I can laugh about it now, after 31 years. But it was a scary moment. In the days that followed, my hormone levels were like a roller coaster, I was exhausted from sleep deprivation and to top it off, the perpetual feeling of being a milk dispenser. It was hardly the environment for any affectionate feelings. And yet… When I cuddled my baby each time she cried from hunger, colic, wet or soiled diapers, loneliness or just boredom, my heart melted. I looked into her eyes and it said, “Mummy, I’m completely dependent on you”. I can’t help but love this little human totally. I want to protect, guide and teach her unconditionally, selflessly. I want to sacrifice for her… Click here for Part 2.
- The Love of A Mother: Growing With Each Passing Day Part 2
The years pass, and that little “nugget’ has grown, along with two other munchkins. The roller coaster ride was now not just hormonal, but a lesson for all. We had numerous moments of joy, laughter and crazy banter. There were also times of frustration, anger, school stress, scolding, and nagging. "We are the very first teachers in our children's lives." The lesson I’ve learnt is that we as parents want what’s best for our children. The love we show or sometimes don’t show, begins from that first day. We all want to love our kids to bits. But we have a duty. A duty to mold, to teach, to discipline and to stand by them no matter what. Throughout their lives. We, the parents, are after all the very first teachers in our children’s lives. They depend on us completely in the beginning and we have the choice to start that process in providing them the tools to become not just good but great human beings. "Tough love is at times necessary and beneficial." The love we have for them is not and should not be quantified. We know how much we love them, but we need to know how much to show or give at different times. Tough love, we sometimes hear about, is at times necessary and beneficial. It teaches resilience, problem-solving and initiative. Yes it would be painful and hurtful to us when our children rebel and do the opposite of what we had hoped. In reality they would at some point. That would be the test of how much we will support and stand by them. We have to decide when to tell them they are wrong. So how much do we love our children? The answer is, with every cell of our being. I learnt long ago from a wise counselor, that we need to “be firm, but kind”. I applied this theory whenever possible. Even towards other children in my profession. And I must say it works wonders! However, the most important ingredient has to be genuine love. Children are awfully sensitive and they’ll know instantly if you’re faking it… Enjoy your children for who they are. Each one a unique star who makes up the universe.
- Looking For A Job After Your First Baby?
Congratulations on the arrival of your little one! Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience and it's natural to feel a mix of emotions as you navigate this new chapter in life. If like many new mums, you're looking to return to the workforce in Singapore after your first baby, here are some practical tips and suggestions for you to consider in your job search. Prioritising Your Needs As you start your job search, it's important to take a step back and reflect on your priorities. What's the most important to you? Is it work-life balance? A flexible schedules or being able to work remotely or part-time? Many employers in Singapore are becoming more open to flexible work arrangements such as remote work, flexible hours, or part-time schedules. Revamping Your Resume Take the time to update your resume, highlighting your skills and experiences that are relevant to the roles you're applying for. Include any volunteer work or freelance projects you've undertaken during your pregnancy period. Leveraging On Your Network Reach out to your professional network including former colleagues, industry contacts and even other parents in your community. They may be aware of job opportunities that align with your needs. Preparing for Interviews Be ready to discuss how you can balance your professional responsibilities with your family commitments. Highlight your time-management skills and your ability to work efficiently. Remember that all mothers are excellent multi-taskers. If you're concerned about how your new parental status may affect your job prospects, be proactive in addressing these concerns during the interview process. Emphasise your commitment to the role and your ability to contribute to the company's success. Returning to the workforce will definitely be a challenge now that you have a child to take care of too, but take heart, the right opportunity is out there waiting for you!
- Help! I'm pregnant! What are my rights?
A sudden unexpected pregnancy can be extremely overwhelming, but knowing your rights during these times can help you make the right decisions. In Singapore, several laws and resources support women facing this life-changing situation. Understanding Your Rights In Singapore, expectant parents are protected by several laws. It’s important to know that you have rights under the Employment Act including maternity leave and protection against discrimination. If you're employed, you have the right to maternity leave if you meet specific criteria. This enables you to take time off to prepare for the baby's arrival and to recuperate afterward, easing the pressures of both work and parenthood. Maternity Leave and Benefits Maternity benefits can be a lifeline. If you've been working for at least three months and meet other requirements, you’re entitled to up to 16 weeks of paid maternity leave. This time is invaluable as you can focus on your health and your child's well-being without worrying about job security. Also, there’s the Baby Bonus Scheme and Child Development Account (CDA) that the government funds to help with expenses related to your baby’s growth and education. Options for Unplanned Pregnancy An unplanned pregnancy often involves tough decisions. You may be wondering, “What are my options?” In Singapore, there are three main paths: parenting, adoption, or termination of pregnancy. Each choice comes with legal rights and responsibilities. If you decide to parent, you can seek government assistance through programmes that support new parents. Finding community groups or networks can also provide additional emotional support. Adoption enables your baby to enjoy the love and care of a family with a loving family while you can move forward with your life. Speak to licensed adoption agencies that can guide you through this journey. If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, the law in Singapore allows for safe and legal abortion procedures under specific conditions. Consult a qualified doctor to discuss your options, potential risks, and aftercare. Emotional support services are also available to help you through this difficult decision. Accessibility to Healthcare Services Access to healthcare services is a fundamental right. In Singapore, numerous public clinics provide reproductive health services, including counselling and medical care related to pregnancy. It’s crucial to reach out to healthcare professionals who can offer you information tailored to your situation. Importance of Counselling and Support Navigating an unplanned pregnancy can be emotionally taxing. Many organisations provide free or low-cost counselling, ensuring that you have someone who can support you, letting you talk through your feelings and receive guidance without breaking the bank. This can make the journey ahead feel less daunting. Navigating an unplanned pregnancy can be emotionally taxing. Many organisations provide free or low-cost counselling, ensuring that you have someone who can support you, letting you talk through your feelings and receive guidance without breaking the bank. This can make the journey ahead feel less daunting.
- What to Eat When You’re Sick During Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a beautiful and transformative experience, but it can also come with its fair share of challenges including the dreaded morning sickness. When the nausea strikes, it's essential to find nourishing and comforting food that can help you feel better and support your growing baby. Ginger: A well-known natural remedy for nausea, making it an excellent choice for pregnant women experiencing morning sickness. It can be consumed in various forms such as ginger tea, ginger ale, or even ginger chews. The active compounds in ginger, known as gingerols, have been shown to help reduce the severity of morning sickness and provide relief. Bland and Easy-to-Digest Foods : Crackers: Saltine crackers or whole-grain crackers can help settle your stomach and provide a gentle source of carbohydrates. Toast: Plain, white toast or whole-grain toast can be a comforting and easy-to-digest option. Bananas: Bananas are a great source of potassium, which can help replace electrolytes lost through vomiting. Rice: Plain, white rice is a gentle and soothing option that can be easily digested. Hydration is key when you're experiencing morning sickness as it can lead to dehydration. Aim to drink small, frequent sips of water, herbal tea, or electrolyte-rich beverages like coconut water or sports drinks. Avoid sugary or carbonated drinks, as they may further upset your stomach. Navigating morning sickness during pregnancy can be challenging, but by incorporating the right foods into your diet, you can help alleviate your symptoms and still nourish both you and your growing baby.
- Importance of Iron During Pregnancy
She had been warned that fatigue would increase as her pregnancy progressed. But she felt more exhausted and tired than usual. M, 30, a first-time mum was at 28 weeks of pregnancy. Her short evening walk after dinner left her breathless with her heart pumping rapidly. She also felt a little dizzy. Her husband was very concerned and brought her for a consultation. She looked pale and her resting heart rate was slightly elevated at 100 beats per minute. Ultrasound examination of her foetus was normal. Blood tests, however, showed that she was anemic with a low iron reserve. M was suffering from iron-deficiency anemia, a common condition during pregnancy. Iron-deficiency anemia occurs when the body lacks enough iron to produce hemoglobin, a substance in red blood cells that helps carry oxygen. As pregnancy progresses, the foetus requires more nutrients, including iron, to help develop its red blood cells and support its growth. Unfortunately, M’s iron stores were too low to meet these needs. With her iron levels depleted, she could not provide enough oxygen to her own tissues. This explained her pale appearance, breathlessness and fatigue. Prevalence of Iron-deficiency in Singapore Local studies have found that anaemia is seen in one in five women of reproductive age and about three-quarters of pregnant mums suffer from iron deficiency. Importance of iron during pregnancy Iron is crucial during pregnancy for the following reasons, as it supports both the health of the mother and the developing baby: 1. Formation of Hemoglobin Iron is essential for making hemoglobin, the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to tissues. During pregnancy, a woman’s blood volume increases, requiring more hemoglobin to support both the mother and the growing baby. 2. Prevention of Anemia Severe anemia during pregnancy is associated with preterm delivery, low birth weight, and increased risk of maternal death. 3. Fetal Development Iron is important for the baby’s brain development. It supports the growth of the fetal brain and nervous system, and a deficiency in iron can lead to cognitive and developmental issues later in life. 4. Immune Function Iron also plays a role in the immune system. Adequate iron levels help maintain the mother's immune function, which is critical during pregnancy when her immune system is slightly suppressed to accommodate the growing fetus. 5. Placental and Fetal Growth Iron contributes to the proper formation of the placenta and supports the growth of the fetus. Low iron levels can impair placental function, which can affect the delivery of nutrients and oxygen to the baby. 6. Increased Energy Levels Adequate iron intake helps pregnant women maintain energy levels by supporting their body's ability to carry oxygen efficiently to muscles and tissues. 7. Compensating for Blood Loss During Delivery Labor and delivery can result in significant blood loss, which depletes the body’s iron stores. Iron helps in the replenishment of hemoglobin levels and healing after childbirth. Iron helps prevent postpartum fatigue and weakness. 8. Supporting Milk Production Iron is essential for the production of breast milk. Adequate iron levels ensure that the baby receives iron through breast milk, supporting its growth and development. Recommended Iron Dosage During Pregnancy : 27 mg per day is the recommended daily intake of iron for pregnant women. Diagnosis of iron-deficiency anemia Common symptoms of iron deficiency anemia, which include: Fatigue or weakness Dizziness or lightheadedness Shortness of breath Pale skin, especially noticeable in the face or hands Rapid or irregular heartbeat Cold hands and feet Headaches Brittle nails or hair loss Laboratory Tests include: Full Blood Count Serum Ferritin: This test measures the amount of stored iron in the body. A low ferritin level (less than 30 ng/mL) is a strong indicator of iron deficiency. Serum Iron: Low levels suggest iron deficiency. When Should Blood Tests Be done? Pregnant women should be routinely screened for anemia during the first prenatal visit and again in the second or third trimester. Women with risk factors for anemia such as poor eating habits, frequent pregnancies, or heavy menstrual periods before pregnancy, may require more frequent testing. M was much relieved when I reassured her that with adequate and early intervention, her condition would improve. The treatment plan involved changes in her diet and the addition of iron supplements. M began eating more iron-rich foods. She also took iron pills diligently. By the time she was near her due date, her iron levels and haemoglobin had risen. She eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
- How to find 'me time' when you're a busy mum
Being a mum can sometimes feel like you have to juggle a million things all at once. School drop-offs, work deadlines, and endless to-do lists can leave little room for yourself. But fret not! 'Me time' is not just a dream. It's completely possible. Embrace the Early Hours Whether it’s sipping coffee while the world is still asleep or enjoying a short workout, those quiet moments early in the morning can really set a positive tone for your day. It’s like discovering an extra hour, allowing you to recharge without interruptions. Set Boundaries with Family Does it feel like everyone always needs something from you? Setting boundaries can be hard, but it’s essential. Create a designated "me time" period during the week for yourself. Just like a phone needs charging to function, so do you! Utilise Down Time Life as a busy mum is filled with waiting. Whether it’s waiting for kids after extra-curricular activities, these can be great opportunities for personal time. Instead of scrolling through social media, consider reading a book, practicing mindfulness or even just enjoying a moment of peace. Delegate and Share Responsibilities Are you doing everything yourself? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s getting the older kids to pitch in with chores or talking to your partner about splitting tasks, sharing responsibilities is key. Picture life as a pizza — everyone gets a slice! By delegating, you free up your time, allowing you to focus on what truly matters — yourself. Prioritize Self-Care Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Make it a priority. Schedule regular 'you time' in your calendar, just like any important appointment. Taking time to nurture yourself is vital. Think of it as watering a plant; without care, you can’t flourish. Create a Schedule Do you thrive on routines? Creating a schedule can help you map out your day, allowing for dedicated personal time. Block out moments in your day just for you. Maybe it’s a half-hour in the afternoon to take a walk or time in the evening to binge-watch your favorite show. Disconnect from Technology In our tech-savvy world, it’s easy to get lost on social media and the online world. Setting aside tech-free time is akin to giving your mind a mini-vacation — it can be refreshing and rejuvenating. Finally, remember that 'me time' is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity for leading a balanced life. So go ahead, make yourself a priority and watch how your days are transformed with greater positivity.
- Effective Communication = Effective Marriage
How would you rate your level of communication with your spouse? What would you say is your communication style? How much of it reminds you of how your parents have been communicating with each other & you have unconsciously brought a similar style to yours? Most importantly: How effective has it been? Research on what makes marriage work indicates that happy and healthy couples demonstrate a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative behaviors in their relationship. This means there are five times as many positive interactions between happy couples (i.e. listening, validating the other person, using soft words, expressing appreciation, affirmation, physical affection, compliments, etc.) as there are negative (i.e. raising one’s voice, stating a complaint, or expressing one’s anger). Tips for improving the quality of communication in your relationship: Be intentional about spending time together talking. The average couple spends only 20 minutes a week talking with each other. Turn off the technology and make it a point to spend 20-30 minutes a day catching up with each other. Use more "I" statements and less "You" statements. This decreases the chances of your spouse feeling like they need to defend themselves. For example, “I wish you would acknowledge more often how much work I do at home to take care of you and the children.” Be specific. When issues arise, be specific. Broad generalizations like, "You do it all the time!" are not helpful. Avoid mind-reading. It is very frustrating when someone else acts like they know better than you what you were really thinking. Express negative feelings constructively. There will be times when you feel bitterness, resentment, disappointment or disapproval. These feelings need to be communicated in order for change to occur. BUT - How you express these thoughts is critical. “I am really disappointed that you are working late again tonight,” is very different from, “You clearly do not care one whit about me or the kids. If you did, you would not work late every night.” Listen without being defensive. For a marriage to succeed, both spouses must be able to hear each other’s complaints without getting defensive. This is much harder than learning how to express negative feelings effectively. Freely express positive feelings. Most people are quick to express negative feelings than positive ones. It is vital to the health of your marriage that you affirm your spouse. Positive feelings such as appreciation, affection, respect, admiration, approval, and warmth expressed to your spouse are like making deposits into your love account. You should have five positive deposits for every one negative. If your compliments exceed your complaints, your spouse will pay attention to your grievances. If your complaints exceed your compliments, your criticism will fall on deaf ears. (excerpt is taken from: https://firstthings.org/keys-to-effective-communication-in-marriage ) Effective communication takes time to put in place and to develop. Just as we are not the same the day we got married, the same goes for the way we have been communicating with our spouse and those around us - it grows and matures. If you feel there is room for improvement, allow yourself time to make the changes. Likewise, if you sense that your spouse is trying to change his/her way of communicating, allow a period of adjustment and encourage him/her with gentle reminders as well as affirmations. If your communication with your spouse could do with some change but you don't know where to begin the change, why not speak to our Counsellor? Contact us at 62588816, email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service
- Tackling The Festive Season Stress
The holiday season is upon us once again! It is amazing how the year has just flown by - so many things must have happened over the past 12 months. As we grow older and have more things going on in our lives, festive seasons, even though it should be a time for loads of joy, love, and laughter (well, actually mainly for kids), it can be rather stressful too. We hope this piece can help reduce some of these stress as you navigate the season: GIFT-GIVING : this is one of the most dreaded (oops, sorry, just being honest here!) parts of Christmas. Who to buy for, what to buy, how much to spend, making time to buy them (even if it is done online)... Here are some suggestions: start shopping early; perhaps take advantage of the Great Singapore Sale, Single's Day Sale, Black Friday cum Cyber Monday Sales? Amongst circles of family and friends, agree with each other whether it is a family gift (one gift per family versus one gift for each member), gifts for kids only, agree on a budget for each gift, how about suggesting a charity all can contribute towards instead? Only you would know your financial situation best and work out a budget that you can stick to and still feel good about. Remember that holiday seasons are more than just buying gifts. You're probably not the only one who doesn't care about how many presents to get, so remember that your friends and family probably care more about your company than your gifts. GET-TOGETHERS: Whether you are hosting or visiting, each has its own set of stress. Do you visit my in-laws or your folks first? This itself can bring on a quarrel, right? Since there are 12 days of Christmas, you don't have to fit all the visits or get-togethers in one day. Space them out and pace yourself. This way, you can enjoy each gathering without having to rush to another and remain sane. What and how many dishes should you prepare? When do you start buying the ingredients (oh no! There isn't enough space in the fridge!) Don't feel bad about asking your guests to bring a dish each. They will surely understand and, this way, everyone can enjoy the gathering! LONELINESS & GRIEF: Holidays are also the time some of us feel weepy; we may feel the huge gap left behind by our family members or friends who have passed. It is ok to feel this way, after all, we had good times with them and because we love them, it is natural to miss them. Take your time to acknowledge this and remember the good times you had together during these seasons. Know that there will be others who will be missing the same persons too so why not reach out and talk to them too; reminisce the good moments. This way, you are celebrating the lives of those who have departed as well as savouring and building new memories with those who are in your lives now. If you feel blue despite trying out these tips, why not speak to our Counsellor? Contact us at 62588816, email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service
- Festive Season Sadness - Survival Guide
The holiday season is upon us once again! It is amazing how the year has just flown by - so many things must have happened over the past 12 months. As we grow older and have more things going on in our lives, festive seasons, even though it should be a time for loads of joy, love, and laughter (well, actually mainly for kids), it can be rather stressful too. We hope this piece can help reduce some of these stress as you navigate the season: GIFT-GIVING : this is one of the most dreaded (oops, sorry, just being honest here!) parts of Christmas. Who to buy for, what to buy, how much to spend, making time to buy them (even if it is done online)... Here are some suggestions: start shopping early; perhaps take advantage of the Great Singapore Sale, Single's Day Sale, Black Friday cum Cyber Monday Sales? Amongst circles of family and friends, agree with each other whether it is a family gift (one gift per family versus one gift for each member), gifts for kids only, agree on a budget for each gift, how about suggesting a charity all can contribute towards instead? Only you would know your financial situation best and work out a budget that you can stick to and still feel good about. Remember that holiday seasons are more than just buying gifts. You're probably not the only one who doesn't care about how many presents to get, so remember that your friends and family probably care more about your company than your gifts. GET-TOGETHERS: Whether you are hosting or visiting, each has its own set of stress. Do you visit my in-laws or your folks first? This itself can bring on a quarrel, right? Since there are 12 days of Christmas, you don't have to fit all the visits or get-togethers in one day. Space them out and pace yourself. This way, you can enjoy each gathering without having to rush to another and remain sane. What and how many dishes should you prepare? When do you start buying the ingredients (oh no! There isn't enough space in the fridge!) Don't feel bad about asking your guests to bring a dish each. They will surely understand and, this way, everyone can enjoy the gathering! LONELINESS & GRIEF: Holidays are also the time some of us feel weepy; we may feel the huge gap left behind by our family members or friends who have passed. It is ok to feel this way, after all, we had good times with them and because we love them, it is natural to miss them. Take your time to acknowledge this and remember the good times you had together during these seasons. Know that there will be others who will be missing the same persons too so why not reach out and talk to them too; reminisce the good moments. This way, you are celebrating the lives of those who have departed as well as savouring and building new memories with those who are in your lives now. It is perfectly no to feel down but if you feel blue despite trying out these tips, why not speak to our Counsellor? Contact us at 62588816 , email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service