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Creating a safe environment for your baby is crucial especially when your little bundle of joy is so fragile in the early months after birth. There are also different challenges to watch out for when your baby is busy exploring every nook and cranny of your home.  The Living Room Furniture To keep your baby safe, anchor tall furniture like bookcases and entertainment units to the wall. Statistics show that falls from furniture are common injuries among children. Creating a designated play area with soft flooring or play mats can help reduce the risk of injury during playtime. Electrical Outlets and Cords Child-proof outlet covers are available in various stores. Use cord clips or zip ties to keep electrical cords hidden and out of reach. Consider using cord concealers to prevent curious hands from tugging on them. Toys Check toy safety guidelines when selecting toys for your baby. Common choking hazards include small toys, marbles, and balloons. Opt for age-appropriate toys and ensure they are stored safely and out of reach when not in use. The Kitchen Stoves and Hot Surfaces Install stove-knob covers to prevent accidents. Keep hot food and drinks out of reach and place them in a secure spot away from the edge of countertops. Kitchen-related injuries are a serious concern, making awareness essential for safety. Cleaning Supplies and Chemicals Store cleaning supplies and chemicals in locked cabinets. Child-proof cabinet locks are widely available and provide peace of mind. Ensure that toxic substances are always stored securely. The Bathroom Water Safety Always supervise your child around bathtubs, toilets, and sinks. Use non-slip mats in the bathroom to prevent falls. Consider toilet lid locks as an extra measure to prevent accidents. Medications and Cosmetics Keep medications and cosmetics in child-proof containers.  The Bedroom Crib and Bedding Adhere to safe sleep practices recommended by baby experts. Choose a sturdy crib with a firm mattress and fitted sheets. Avoid soft bedding to reduce the risk of suffocation, and always place your baby on his/her back to sleep. Windows Install window guards and other safeguards especially if you live on a high floor. Ensure that windows are properly secured and never leave furniture near windows that a child could climb on. Balcony and Outdoor Areas Secure balcony railings and install child-proof gates for outdoor areas. Always ensure that external doors and windows are locked to prevent unsupervised access. Other Outdoor Hazards Plants, Insects, and Sunlight Be aware of poisonous plants and insects in your surroundings. Dress your child in protective clothing and apply sunscreen to prevent sunburns, especially during outdoor play in hot sunny Singapore.

She listened to me attentively. She had just been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) . J, a 20-year-old university student, had been experiencing irregular periods for the past two years. Her cycles occurred once every 2 to 3 months. The menstrual flow could be scanty and prolonged. Occasionally, it was heavy with clots. Her BMI had shot up from 23 to 29 over the last year. The fatigue, mood swings, and weight gain had taken a toll on her, both physically and emotionally. PCOS and Weight Gain PCOS is a common hormonal disorder affecting many women worldwide. It is characterized by irregular menstrual cycles, elevated male hormone levels, and multiple small, underdeveloped cysts in the ovaries. Among the array of symptoms, menstrual issues are one of the most distressing concerns, impacting a woman’s quality of life. One of the key contributing factors is obesity or excess body weight. The Relationship Between PCOS, Weight, and Hormones Women with PCOS usually experience insulin resistance, where their bodies become less responsive to insulin, a hormone responsible for regulating blood sugar levels. This leads to higher insulin levels in the bloodstream, which, in turn, triggers the ovaries to produce more male hormones (androgens). The normal hormonal balance necessary for ovulation is thus disrupted, leading to irregular periods. Insulin resistance is also closely linked to weight gain, especially around the abdomen, which further exacerbates the hormonal imbalance. Excess weight amplifies the symptoms of PCOS because fat tissue is hormonally active. The more body fat a woman carries, the greater the disruption in hormone levels. Additionally, women with PCOS often find it challenging to lose weight due to the metabolic and hormonal hurdles associated with the condition, creating a vicious cycle of weight gain and worsening PCOS symptoms. Impact of Weight Loss on Menstrual Health in PCOS Research shows that weight loss in women with PCOS can significantly improve menstrual health, restoring regular cycles, promoting ovulation, and enhancing overall reproductive health. A loss of 5% to 10% of total body weight can lead to significant improvements in menstrual health for women with PCOS. Weight reduction helps lower insulin levels, which in turn reduces androgen production by the ovaries. This rebalancing of hormones can lead to more regular ovulation, allowing women to experience more predictable menstrual cycles. A regular menstrual cycle is not only crucial for reproductive health but also for overall hormonal balance and well-being. It improves mood and self-image, boosts energy levels, and reduces the severity of PCOS symptoms such as acne and excessive hair growth (hirsutism). Additionally, reducing body weight lowers the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and other metabolic disorders J's Journey to a Healthier Lifestyle J started to change her diet, replacing processed foods and sugary snacks with fresh vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. She joined a gym, taking up yoga and light cardio exercises, and though it was a struggle at first, she felt her body slowly adjusting to the new routine. She found that spreading out her meals throughout the day, avoiding large amounts of carbohydrates, and focusing on healthy fats helped her feel more balanced and less sluggish. With the change in lifestyle and medications, J started to notice small changes after two months. She had more energy, and her clothes fit a little looser. At her six-month follow-up, J was beaming with her progress. She had lost 10% of her body weight, and her hormone levels were improving. “How do you feel?” I asked. “I feel… balanced,” J said with a smile, and it was true. The fatigue had lessened, her mood swings were less frequent, and most importantly, her cycles were regular. It wasn’t just the weight loss that had changed her—it was the way she had taken ownership of her health.She found that spreading out her meals throughout the day, avoiding large amounts of carbohydrates, and focusing on healthy fats helped her feel more balanced and less sluggish.

Being a new parent is a joyful experience, but very often, you'll find you and your spouse overwhelmed and having little time for each other. Sleep deprivation can hit hard, affecting mental health and overall well-being for both new mums and dads. Self-care then becomes a  necessity and finding ways to carve out "me time" can lead to happier parents and, in turn, a more content baby. Tips For Finding "Me Time" As A New Parent Finding time for yourself and your spouse may seem impossible, but it's achievable with some creative planning. Here are a few suggestions: Time-Blocking : Set specific times during the day dedicated purely to self-care. Leverage Support Systems : Family, friends and babysitters can provide crucial support. Negotiate Responsibilities : Discuss with your partner who can take over certain tasks to free up time. By implementing these tips, you can gradually reclaim your personal space, allowing you to breathe and recharge. Maximising "Me Time" On A Typical Busy Day Short Bursts of Self-Care : Even five minutes of deep breathing can be refreshing. Mindfulness & Meditation : Techniques like guided meditation can help reduce stress levels. Engage in Hobbies : Dedicate a few minutes each day to something you love like reading or crafting. Maintaining Intimacy & Bonding as New Parents New parenthood can put a strain on romance. However, maintaining intimacy is crucial for a healthy relationship.  Schedule Date Nights: These can be simple, like watching a movie at home after the baby sleeps. Express Affection: Small gestures like holding hands or hugs go a long way. Open Communication: Regularly checking in about each other's feelings and needs helps manage expectations. Making an effort to stay connected strengthens your bond and supports your journey through parenthood. Seeking Professional Help When Needed It's important to recognise signs of postpartum depression and anxiety as a new mum. Fathers too can face emotional struggles. Remember to seek professional help or join support groups when you or your spouse feel overwhelmed.  Prioritising Self-Care for a Happier, Healthier Family Making time for self-care can ultimately result in improved mental well-being, a stronger couple relationship and a happier, healthier family.

Preparing for childbirth can be overwhelming. And a well-packed hospital bag can definitely make your birthing experience a lot smoother and more comfortable.  For You: Mom-to-Be Loose-fitting comfy pyjamas:   Opt for breathable fabric like cotton and ones that allow easy access for breastfeeding.  Two to three sets should be sufficient. You'll usually be discharged within one to two days after vaginal birth or two to four days if you had a Caesarean. If you have other medical issues, the doctors may advise you to be hospitalised longer for evaluation and observation.  * https://www.healthhub.sg/live-healthy/what-to-expect-after-labour Nursing bras:  Choose styles that provide support and comfort during recovery. Going-home outfit:  Look for something soft and easy to wear, keeping in mind the unpredictable nature of postpartum bleeding. Toiletries Having your personal toiletries on hand can make hospital stays feel more like home. Pack the following essentials: Toothbrush & toothpaste Body wash, shampoo & conditioner Perineal  care products:  Think about bringing witch hazel pads and Dermoplast spray for comfort after delivery Lip balm:  Labour can dry out your lips, so pack along a moisturising lip balm. Some mothers require specific skincare products to address postpartum skin changes.  Medical Records Ensure you have all the necessary documentation in a clear plastic folder for easy accessibility. Include: NRIC  Prenatal records                                                                                                         For Baby: Your Little One Clothing For newborns, lightweight clothes are best in hot and humid Singapore. Pack around 2-3 outfits such as onesies made of cotton to keep your baby cool and comfortable. Diapers & Wipes Diapers: Consult your pediatrician for preferred brands of diapers and wipes. Some hospitals provide diapers during your stay, but it’s wise to bring extra supplies for the journey home. Wipes: Choose hypoallergenic options that are gentle on sensitive skin. Swaddles & Blankets Choose swaddles and blankets that are breathable and suitable for hot weather. Lightweight muslin swaddles are fantastic options. Always check the sizes to ensure they fit your newborn comfortably. For Your Partner/Support Person Snacks & Drinks Keep energy levels up with healthy snacks like: Granola bars, nuts or dried fruit Hydration:  Bring water bottles or electrolyte drinks to stay hydrated during the stay. Entertainment:  Books, magazines or the latest drama series and movies downloaded onto tablets can provide a welcome distraction. Don’t forget to pack : Camera or smartphone:  For capturing those first precious moments. Phone charger:  Making sure devices stay charged. Note -taking materials:  To record any special moments or instructions from your doctor/gynae Nursing Supplies If breastfeeding is the plan, consider the following: Nipple cream and nursing pads Comfortable nursing pillow Postpartum Essentials Maternity pads Peri bottles Comfortable underwear A well-packed hospital bag can alleviate some of the stress of giving birth. Start early and give yourself plenty of time.

As a new mother, sleep is the most precious thing you cannot get enough of. It will often seem like your little one is determined not to let you sleep.  Here are some reasons why your new baby may be keeping you up. Feeding Feedings sometimes take forever because your little angel decides to fall asleep midway. By the time the feed is over and you finally put your baby down, you often find yourself awoken soon after for the next feed. What to do! Breastfeeding… I chose to do all the night feeds, so that my husband could get enough sleep for work the next day. However, you could express your milk and store it for someone else (husband, a helper or grandparent) to take over feeding at times in the day when you need a few more hours of sleep.  Note: Formula-fed babies tend to sleep longer hours because the higher fat content in the milk makes them fuller.   Colic Very often, babies are “airy”. From all the sucking and suckling…obviously! This gives them a tummy ache. They will fuss and cry. These days, fortunately, social media provides  many novel ideas and remedies for babies’ colicky troubles. From massages, leg/hip rotations, warm baths etc. My mother-in-law used a combination of sliced shallots/small onions and Chinese baby oil(Yu Yee Oil) wrapped in a cloth nappy which was then placed on the baby’s tummy. Not sure if that really worked, but I was willing to try anything to soothe my crying baby! Boredom Yes, babies can be bored. They love interaction. Here are some ways to entertain your baby. Hug and cuddle them as much as you can. Talk. Not in baby language but proper words. It helps develop their linguistic skills early. Sing. Everyone can sing. Not judging here… But seriously, learn nursery rhymes. Kids these days do not really know their nursery rhymes.  Dance too. Somehow, my babies were soothed with loud rhythmic impactful music. I have to thank the group Starship - We built This City, Johnny Mathis - It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year amongst others. I had to put the music on repeat, because she would open her eyes the moment the music ended. Yup, it was definitely my superb swaying and dancing skills that lulled her to sleep…   In any case, music is said to stimulate mathematical and reasoning skills. It’s fun for both mother and child.  Sensitive to Vibes Babies are literally connected to Mummy or their main caregiver. Doesn’t it seem that your baby would cry even more when you feel irritated? Or the baby refuses to sleep when you are almost passing out from sleep deprivation?  When you feel like your baby is conspiring to make your life a living hell, try this: Pass the baby to your husband or someone trustworthy in your house. Go to the next room. Take a nap or just chill for a moment. Most likely your baby and you would have calmed down by then. Babies can feel your anxiety, stress and even annoyance. It becomes a circle of emotions bouncing back and forth. So break that cycle and both of you will be happy! Parents are super humans. Surviving on little sleep and no ‘Me’ time. There is no easy recipe in parenting. But ultimately your efforts will pay off. Your baby grows at the speed of light and you would not want to miss those precious moments.

Bath Essentials on a Budget Babies need special care especially when it comes to bath time, but that doesn’t mean you need to splurge: Baby Bathtub : A basic baby tub works just as well as pricier options. Bath Toys and Towels : As your baby gets older, a few bath toys can make bath time enjoyable while baby towels can be rotated. Remember, quality matters more than price. Opt for gentle products that are kind to your baby’s skin. Newborn Clothing Needs  Babies go through clothes at an impressive rate! Between outgrowing outfits and regular spills, here’s what to keep in mind: Tip : Stick to affordable, comfortable clothes as babies often grow up pretty fast. About 10 sets of outfits should be enough for regular rotation. Consider sizing up so your baby can wear them a little longer. And don’t forget second-hand stores and online parenting groups which can be gold mines for quality clothes at half the price. Diapers: A Never-Ending Need Babies and diapers go hand-in-hand! Newborns typically use 4–6 diapers daily, which comes to around $2.16 a day. This number only goes up as they grow.  Diapers may seem like a never-ending expense, but planning ahead with bulk purchases or exploring reusable options can make it easier on your budget. Tip : Buy in bulk to save money or consider cloth diapers if you’re open to washing them regularly—they’re reusable and eco-friendly. Budget-Friendly Baby Gear Some baby items are worth the investment, but others you can get on a budget such as a cot, playpen and baby bouncer. Keep things simple. and remember that basic items serve the same purpose as the fancier options. Mealtime Essentials Babies’ needs change as they grow especially when it comes to feeding. Infant formula is often one of the pricier consumables, averaging around $50 per tin.  Keep in mind that after 12 months, babies can often transition to regular milk, which may save you even more in the long run. Tip : Set aside money monthly for formula as your baby grows to cover increased usage. Health & Pediatrician Visits Babies need regular checkups and each visit can cost around $120 as we mentioned in Part 1 . Try to budget for at least 8 visits in the first year. Tip : If you’re eligible, look for subsidised services. Regular pediatrician visits are vital for your baby’s health and well-being, so planning for these expenses will make them less of a strain on your wallet. Toys & Playtime That Doesn't Break The Bank Toys are essential for baby development, but they don’t have to break the bank. Look for items that your baby can grow into and will use for longer periods. A few well-chosen toys that offer learning and engagement will keep your baby happy and stimulated without you overspending. Tip : Stick to a few quality toys rather than many small ones. Welcoming a baby is one of the most joyful experiences of life, and with a little financial planning, you can enjoy every moment without worrying about money. Focus on essentials, shop smart and embrace DIY options where possible. Most importantly, enjoy this beautiful time with your baby, you’ve got this! P.S.*: For more detailed insights into the costs of raising a child in Singapore, you can check out this comprehensive guide from Seedly . It’s packed with valuable information to help you understand the financial journey of parenthood in Singapore! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FAQs 1. How can I budget for unexpected baby expenses? Create a baby fund by setting aside small amounts weekly. It builds up over time and offers a cushion for unexpected expenses. 2. Are second-hand baby items safe? Yes, as long as they’re in good condition. Always check for wear and tear and take note of recall notices especially for car seats and cribs. 3. How can I save on baby formula costs? Buy in bulk if possible and keep an eye out for store sales or coupons. Some brands also offer subscription discounts. 4. Is DIY baby food better than store-bought? Homemade food can be fresher and cheaper. Plus you get to control the ingredients.

"Doc, what is the RSV vaccine? There's been so much publicity in the media lately. Do I need it?" asked Y, a 30-year-old first-time mom in her second trimester of pregnancy. What is RSV? RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) is a common virus that causes infections of the respiratory tract. In most people, it manifests as mild, cold-like symptoms, but it can lead to more severe conditions such as pneumonia, particularly in vulnerable populations. For pregnant women, contracting RSV can be concerning due to the increased risk of complications. What are the symptoms of RSV? The incidence of RSV infection during pregnancy is low, with about 2% to 9% of pregnant individuals developing RSV. However, the actual number may be higher due to infrequent testing.  Common symptoms of the infection include a fever lasting 2 to 3 days, a runny nose, and a sore throat lasting about 4 days. Less common but more severe symptoms include wheezing and shortness of breath. Why Should Pregnant Women Care About RSV? Studies have shown that up to 50% of pregnant individuals who contract RSV may develop severe infections requiring hospitalization.  Pregnancy naturally lowers the immune system’s effectiveness to protect the developing fetus, making expectant mothers more susceptible to infections. If a pregnant woman contracts RSV, her weakened immune system may struggle to fend off the virus, potentially leading to more serious and life-threatening conditions like pneumonia, which can cause difficulty breathing and high fever. Although not fully understood, RSV in pregnancy has been linked to RSV in babies at birth. It is believed that the infection in the mother may be passed to the baby in utero, which could lead to premature delivery and low birth weight.  RSV infections in infants are associated with severe respiratory illness, often requiring hospitalization. It is the most common cause of viral pneumonia and acute respiratory tract infections in children and the second most common cause of infant deaths worldwide. Prevention is Key Preventing RSV during pregnancy is crucial. Since RSV spreads through droplets when an infected person coughs or sneezes, pregnant women should take precautions such as: Good hygiene : Wash hands frequently. Before touching your face or eating, make sure your hands are clean. Avoiding sick people : If someone shows symptoms of a cold or respiratory illness, maintain distance, particularly in crowded or enclosed environments. Cleaning surfaces : Regularly disinfect common areas and items like your phone and countertops, as the virus can survive on surfaces. Staying healthy : Keep your immune system strong by eating well, getting plenty of sleep, and staying active. Vaccination Recent advancements have led to the development of vaccines aimed at protecting newborns from RSV. A newly approved RSV vaccine can now be given to pregnant women to help protect their babies from RSV after birth. This vaccine, administered during the third trimester, helps pass on antibodies to the baby, reducing the risk of severe RSV in the first few months of life. Conclusion RSV may not be as well-known as some other viruses, but for pregnant women, it’s important to understand the risks and take steps to prevent it. With good hygiene practices and the option of vaccination, RSV infections during pregnancy can be significantly reduced. Staying informed and proactive is key to ensuring the health of both mother and baby.

An unexpected pregnancy can test the bonds we hold dear, challenging and changing families in ways we do not expect. This is a 3-part mini series on a family thrown into turmoil when seventeen-year-old Hana announces her unexpected pregnancy. Series 1 is told from a sibling's point of view, Series 2 - a mother's perspective and Series 3 - a father's perspective to highlight the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. Read Series 1: A Sibling’s Burden Series 2: A Mother's Breakdown Part 1: Unspoken Accusations I didn’t speak to Hana for days after the revelation. I tried to keep the peace, but every time I saw Hana’s face—red from crying or pale with guilt—I felt torn. I wanted to tell her that it was okay, that we would get through it, but I knew it wasn’t. Our family wasn’t built for this kind of hardship. We barely had enough for utilities, let alone the diapers, baby formula or whatever else Hana would need if she decided to keep the baby. I was talking to my sister on the phone that night and somehow I surprised myself with brutal words that subconsciously came out from my mouth. “She’s ruined us,” I mumbled under my breath, the words sharp and accusing. “She’s ruined everything.” I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? Hana had in fact ruined everything. She didn’t mean to, but she had. Part 2: The Harsh Reality I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. The situation was a disaster and we needed to face it head-on. So I did the practical thing and sat Hana down. I could see how scared she was, but I was past being gentle. We needed to get real. “Hana,” I said, keeping my voice steady despite whatever was boiling inside me. “We need to talk about your options. This isn’t something we can wish away.” She didn’t say anything. She just looked down, her fingers fidgeting on the table. I didn’t care about her fear. I was furious. “First,” I continued, biting my words, “you keep the baby. If you think you’re ready for that, fine. But you better understand what it means. It’s not just about nine months of carrying a baby. It’s about your whole damn life. And ours. I don’t know how we’re supposed to manage with a baby when we can barely pay the bills as it is.” “Second option,” I said, “adoption. You don’t want to be a mother? Fine, let someone else raise your child. You walk away, and you don’t look back. But that’s a choice you’ll have to live with.” Hana flinched. I saw it. She didn’t want to hear it, but it was the truth. “And third… abortion. If you’re not ready to be a mother—if this is too much for you—then take that option. But whatever you choose, you’ll live with it. You don’t get to undo this.” She stayed silent, staring at her hands. I felt the anger rising in my chest again. “You’re going to have to make a decision, Hana. I can’t do this for you, but I’m not going to pretend everything is going to be fine. It’s not.” I stood up and turned away, too angry to look at her. I couldn’t hold her hand through this. I couldn’t fix this for her. She was on her own now, and I didn’t know if I could forgive her for this. Part 3: The Burden of Love I couldn't stop the thoughts from spiraling and they haunted me like shadows—no matter how hard I tried to push them away. I had spent so much of my life trying to make sure my children were safe, protected, given opportunities and now Hana was about to throw it all away. The shock, the betrayal—it still gnawed at me. There were moments when I couldn’t even look at her without the wave of anger rising again. She was only seventeen. How could she be so reckless? So selfish? Every time I thought about it, the anger twisted tighter in my chest. I had done everything I could to raise her right, to show her what was important, to give her the kind of foundation she could build a future on. And now… now she was pregnant. But the anger didn’t last forever. It couldn’t. In the stillness of the night, when I was alone, the anger would fade just long enough for me to think about what was truly at the core of all of this: her. Could I really expect her to get rid of this baby when I myself could not imagine life without my children? Hana, my beautiful, stubborn, complicated girl. She was scared and I could see it. She wasn’t the carefree, confident young woman she used to be—she was burdened and I could feel it too. This was all of us, our entire family, thrown into turmoil by one impulsive decision. And now, I had to face the fact that, no matter how much I wanted to rail against her choices, no matter how much I resented the mess she was bringing into our already fragile world, I could not walk away. The mother in me couldn’t do that. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t upset. Upset that this mistake was going to change everything for all of us. Upset that Hana’s future, my future, was being reshaped by something we couldn’t take back. I had lived my life one way, and now everything was uncertain. And that meant something. Even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment. Series 3: A Father's Anger If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

An unexpected pregnancy can test the bonds we hold dear, challenging and changing families in ways we do not expect. This is a 3-part mini series on a family thrown into turmoil when seventeen-year-old Hana announces her unexpected pregnancy. Series 1 is told from a sibling's point of view, Series 2 - a mother's perspective and Series 3 - a father's perspective to highlight the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. Read Series 2: A Mother's Breakdown Series 3: A Father's Anger Part 1: Deflecting Responsibility When Hana told me she was pregnant, it felt like my world crumbled. My daughter—my little girl—had made a choice I couldn’t understand, couldn’t accept. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I had always believed in giving her the best. We worked so hard to make sure she had opportunities, so that she could have a future. And now, all of that seemed meaningless. She had thrown away everything. I couldn’t look at her. Every time I tried, the anger would swell inside me. How could you do this? I was not going to bear the consequences of her actions. I had done what I could as a good father, working hard and providing for this family. Was it not enough? Part 2: Making A Decision If it were up to me, I’d say abort the baby. We didn’t have the means to raise a child and why should we have to suffer for Hana’s mistake? I didn’t want a baby in this house. I didn’t want the gossip, the shame, the constant pressure. Hana wasn’t ready for this—she didn’t even understand the gravity of what she was about to face. She had no idea what this would cost her and I couldn’t bear the thought of watching her throw her life away. The thought of being a grandfather at my age... I couldn’t even entertain it. Hana had to end this pregnancy. There was no other choice. I wasn’t going to let our family fall apart over something so senseless. But the hardest part? Seeing my daughter like this, broken and scared and knowing there was nothing I could do to undo her mistake. The decision wasn’t mine to make, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had no choice. Part 3: The Escaped Wrath I couldn’t escape it anymore. The anger, the disappointment—everything I felt had been building up, festering. I tried to bury it, tried to distract myself with work or anything that would let me pretend it wasn’t happening. But the truth was there, hanging over us like a storm cloud. One evening, I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t sit in silence, pretending this wasn’t destroying me. I pulled Hana aside, away from the others and I let it all out. The rage, the hurt, the fear. “How could you do this?” My voice was low, tight with frustration. “After everything we’ve done for you, after everything we’ve given you... this is what you do? You ruin it all for a mistake you can’t take back!” She looked at me, eyes wide, and I could see she was terrified—terrified of my anger, terrified of what I was going to say next. But it didn’t stop me. I wasn’t sure what I expected from her—apologies? Regret? I wanted her to admit how wrong she was, how foolish. Instead, all I saw was fear. Fear of me, fear of what was coming. “You don’t get it,” I spat, shaking my head. “This isn’t just your mistake. It’s ours, too. We all have to pay for this, Hana. And I’m not going to let it ruin our lives.” For a moment, I could see the fight in her eyes, but it was gone before she could say anything. She just stared at me, silent, like she was trying to hold herself together. And then the worst part hit me: I knew I was pushing her away. I wasn’t being the father I should have been, the father who should have been there for her. But I couldn’t stop myself. I was so angry, so hurt that I couldn't see beyond my own disappointment. I had always thought I knew what it meant to be a father, to protect and provide. But this... this wasn’t part of the plan. And now, I was trapped in a place where I didn’t know what to do, where everything felt wrong, and I couldn’t find a way to fix it. But no matter how angry I was, I knew one thing: this wasn’t just about me. It was about her. And somewhere, deep down, I still cared for her. Even if I didn’t know how to show it. Author's Note: Thank you for reading “Fractured Ties”. Pregnancy can test the bonds we hold most dear, challenging families in ways we never expect. This story highlights the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. If you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy, remember that family dynamics can shift, but with patience, compassion and open hearts, healing is possible. Though the path forward may not always be easy, the strength of family lies in its ability to grow together, even through the hardest moments. If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

An unexpected pregnancy can test the bonds we hold dear, challenging and changing families in ways we do not expect. This is a 3-part mini series on a family thrown into turmoil when seventeen-year-old Hana announces her unexpected pregnancy. Series 1 is told from a sibling's point of view, Series 2 - a mother's perspective and Series 3 - a father's perspective to highlight the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. Series 1: A Sibling’s Burden Part 1: At the Tip of A Downward Slope I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, after a long day of work. That's when Hana came out of the bathroom. I didn’t even notice her at first—she just kind of appeared, standing in the doorway like a ghost. Her face was so pale I thought maybe she had seen one. “Hana?” I said, blinking at her in confusion. She looked like she was about to collapse, her eyes wide and unfocused. She just stood there for a moment, her hand gripping the doorframe, like she was trying to keep herself steady. I was about to ask her what was going on when she opened her mouth, her voice barely a whisper. “I… I think I’m pregnant,” she said, her words hanging in the air like they didn’t belong to her. It was one of those moments where everything freezes. “What?” I asked, unable to process what she’d just said. She took a shaky breath, the words coming out slowly, like she was trying to convince herself as much as me. “I’m pregnant,” she repeated. I stared at her, my mind doing that thing where it tries to run through every possible explanation, but it all just loops back to the same point: Hana? Pregnant? No way. We were supposed to be the ones with our lives together. Not perfect, but at least not a mess like... this. Hana was always the strong one, the one who had it together, who made sure everything in our chaotic house somehow stayed afloat. I felt a wave of anger and disbelief rush over me. I didn’t know what to feel. Part of me wanted to run away and forget this ever happened. But I couldn’t do that to her. She was my sister. Yet somehow, this felt like a betrayal. Part 2: Silent Guilt and Anger For days, Hana kept to herself, not speaking to anyone but me. I could see how terrified she was, but I couldn’t bring myself to offer her much comfort. Our lives were hard enough already, and her mistake seemed to pile more weight on our already-crushed shoulders. I had become her reluctant keeper of secrets. Our house became eerily quiet, as if everyone was pretending nothing had changed. But everything had changed. I caught myself staring at Hana’s face at the dinner table, wondering how we’d gotten here. How did this happen under our roof? How would our parents react? I didn’t know if Hana was scared or just too ashamed to face the truth. But every time I saw her, I felt like I was looking at someone I didn’t know anymore. And the worst part was, I didn’t know how to help. My immediate and best idea was to save up money and get Hana a quiet abortion, as discreetly as possible. It felt like a cold, practical solution—insensitive, maybe even selfish. But in that moment, I didn’t care. I just wanted to make this disappear before it tore our already delicate family apart. Part 3: The Confrontation It was a Sunday afternoon when it all came crashing down. Hana and I were in the kitchen, making lunch, when Mom came in. I guess Hana wanted to tell her abruptly, casually with no warning so she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. Before I knew what was happening, Hana blurted it out. She said it so quickly, like she wanted to get it over with. “I’m pregnant,” she said, her voice shaking. For a long moment, there was silence. Mom’s face turned pale, and I could see her eyes flicker between shock and anger. Dad wasn’t home yet, but the tension was already thick in the air. Hana looked down at the table, her hands clenched into fists. “You what?” Mom finally managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper. The look on Mom’s face said everything—disappointment, confusion, and fear. I could see her trying to hold it together, but it was clear she wasn’t sure what to say next. Dad walked in a few minutes later, and when he saw the looks on our faces, he froze. “What’s going on?” His tone was sharp, and I could tell he was already on edge. Nobody looked at him. Instead, mum furiously cried out “Your daughter just told me she is pregnant.” And just like that, everything shattered. Dad’s face darkened, his jaw clenched. “This is a joke, right?” he asked, his voice rising. “You’re supposed to be the responsible one, Hana. What nonsense are you up to???” I could see Hana shrinking in on herself, but she didn’t back down. She didn’t run away like I thought she might. Instead, she looked up, and for the first time in days, her eyes were clear. “I’m not perfect,” she said, her voice steady. “I made a mistake. But I don’t know what to do.” I wanted to step in, to say something to break the tension, but I couldn’t find the words. All I could do was watch as the room filled with this heavy, suffocating silence. Series 2: A Mother's Breakdown If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

Read Part 2 A ray of light. The truth is, there isn’t a reset button after an abortion. A person who has gone through an abortion will find themselves grappling with a range of unexpected physical, emotional and social challenges. From subtle bodily changes to profound psychological shifts, the ripple effects can touch every aspect of life. Physical effects of abortion  Bleeding/spotting for 1-2 weeks Stomach cramps Fatigue and weakness Breast tenderness Possible potential complications Infection Heavy bleeding  Incomplete abortion requiring further medical intervention  Emotional & psychological impact Common emotional responses include: sadness, guilt, anger, anxiety, confusion, emotional numbness Decreased self-worth Feelings of shame or inadequacy Potential post-abortion stress syndrome (PASS) Personally, I experienced minimal physical side-effects from the procedure. Instead, I found myself grappling with the emotional and psychological impact, which lingered long after. The pain of my decision still weighs me down to this day. For the first two months after it happened, I remained silent about my experience. My parents noticed I was distant and began asking questions. Their innocent concern only intensified the tension at home, leading to more disagreements and fights, all fuelled by the secret I felt I had to keep. Moving forward Then, the school year began. I knew I couldn’t allow this to continue taking control of my life. I had to make a choice for myself — I could either dwell in sadness or harness it to fuel my journey ahead.  Determined to take that first step toward healing, I decided I would first have to verbalise what had happened.. I reached out to my best friend and asked if we could meet. My best friend was incredibly empathetic and supportive. She reassured me that I could always turn to her, and if I had confided in her sooner, she would have been more than willing to stand by me every step of the way. Perhaps if I had the resolve to seek help earlier, I would have been able to make a more informed decision.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell anyone else including my parents. I don’t know if that abortion would implicate my future relationships. I don’t know if things would have turned out better if I didn’t have the abortion. Regardless, I was glad that I had the courage to open up that day. It marked the beginning of my journey towards healing and moving on.  1 year later I received a message from my best friend: “girl… it came out positive.” If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

It came out positive. My period had been late for about a month. I didn't think much of it as that wasn’t out of the norm. It often happened when I was particularly stressed out. My friends and I liked to joke about it, “You girls are about to become aunts. My period is late again LOL.”  When a second month passed by, I started feeling uneasy and decided to purchase a pregnancy kit at Watsons. I didn’t take it seriously up till the point of waiting for the test results. To my utter shock, it came out positive. I couldn’t believe it. I had a fetus growing inside of me? I simply wasn’t able to comprehend it. I thought that I had been careful enough with using protection, using the ‘pull out method’ or 'doing it' on my safe days. There was no way I could tell my parents about it, they probably even still think that I’m a virgin! How was my boyfriend going to react to the news? 3 days later After days of hesitation and pacing back and forth in my room, I finally gathered the courage to inform my boyfriend. His reaction from finding out was no different from mine - complete shock, helplessness and a loss for words. He asked if I was certain and made me buy another 2 test kits to make sure. There was no doubt then that I was indeed pregnant.  I started to get the impression that he was trying to deflect his responsibility. He asked questions like whether the baby was really his and kept talking about his ambitions and goals in the near future.  Eventually, what I had hoped to delay came to light. My now ex-boyfriend told me that he couldn’t deal with the situation and said that I should quickly terminate the pregnancy. We never officially ended things or talked it out. I regularly texted and called him, pleading for his compassion. I had no one else to turn to. Overtime he became unsupportive and grew distant, then completely stopped responding one day. He had left me in this deep pit all alone. Read Part 2 If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.