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An unexpected pregnancy can test the bonds we hold dear, challenging and changing families in ways we do not expect. This is a 3-part mini series on a family thrown into turmoil when seventeen-year-old Hana announces her unexpected pregnancy. Series 1 is told from a sibling's point of view, Series 2 - a mother's perspective and Series 3 - a father's perspective to highlight the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. Read Series 2: A Mother's Breakdown Series 3: A Father's Anger Part 1: Deflecting Responsibility When Hana told me she was pregnant, it felt like my world crumbled. My daughter—my little girl—had made a choice I couldn’t understand, couldn’t accept. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I had always believed in giving her the best. We worked so hard to make sure she had opportunities, so that she could have a future. And now, all of that seemed meaningless. She had thrown away everything. I couldn’t look at her. Every time I tried, the anger would swell inside me. How could you do this? I was not going to bear the consequences of her actions. I had done what I could as a good father, working hard and providing for this family. Was it not enough? Part 2: Making A Decision If it were up to me, I’d say abort the baby. We didn’t have the means to raise a child and why should we have to suffer for Hana’s mistake? I didn’t want a baby in this house. I didn’t want the gossip, the shame, the constant pressure. Hana wasn’t ready for this—she didn’t even understand the gravity of what she was about to face. She had no idea what this would cost her and I couldn’t bear the thought of watching her throw her life away. The thought of being a grandfather at my age... I couldn’t even entertain it. Hana had to end this pregnancy. There was no other choice. I wasn’t going to let our family fall apart over something so senseless. But the hardest part? Seeing my daughter like this, broken and scared and knowing there was nothing I could do to undo her mistake. The decision wasn’t mine to make, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had no choice. Part 3: The Escaped Wrath I couldn’t escape it anymore. The anger, the disappointment—everything I felt had been building up, festering. I tried to bury it, tried to distract myself with work or anything that would let me pretend it wasn’t happening. But the truth was there, hanging over us like a storm cloud. One evening, I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t sit in silence, pretending this wasn’t destroying me. I pulled Hana aside, away from the others and I let it all out. The rage, the hurt, the fear. “How could you do this?” My voice was low, tight with frustration. “After everything we’ve done for you, after everything we’ve given you... this is what you do? You ruin it all for a mistake you can’t take back!” She looked at me, eyes wide, and I could see she was terrified—terrified of my anger, terrified of what I was going to say next. But it didn’t stop me. I wasn’t sure what I expected from her—apologies? Regret? I wanted her to admit how wrong she was, how foolish. Instead, all I saw was fear. Fear of me, fear of what was coming. “You don’t get it,” I spat, shaking my head. “This isn’t just your mistake. It’s ours, too. We all have to pay for this, Hana. And I’m not going to let it ruin our lives.” For a moment, I could see the fight in her eyes, but it was gone before she could say anything. She just stared at me, silent, like she was trying to hold herself together. And then the worst part hit me: I knew I was pushing her away. I wasn’t being the father I should have been, the father who should have been there for her. But I couldn’t stop myself. I was so angry, so hurt that I couldn't see beyond my own disappointment. I had always thought I knew what it meant to be a father, to protect and provide. But this... this wasn’t part of the plan. And now, I was trapped in a place where I didn’t know what to do, where everything felt wrong, and I couldn’t find a way to fix it. But no matter how angry I was, I knew one thing: this wasn’t just about me. It was about her. And somewhere, deep down, I still cared for her. Even if I didn’t know how to show it. Author's Note: Thank you for reading “Fractured Ties”. Pregnancy can test the bonds we hold most dear, challenging families in ways we never expect. This story highlights the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. If you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy, remember that family dynamics can shift, but with patience, compassion and open hearts, healing is possible. Though the path forward may not always be easy, the strength of family lies in its ability to grow together, even through the hardest moments. If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

An unexpected pregnancy can test the bonds we hold dear, challenging and changing families in ways we do not expect. This is a 3-part mini series on a family thrown into turmoil when seventeen-year-old Hana announces her unexpected pregnancy. Series 1 is told from a sibling's point of view, Series 2 - a mother's perspective and Series 3 - a father's perspective to highlight the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. Series 1: A Sibling’s Burden Part 1: At the Tip of A Downward Slope I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, after a long day of work. That's when Hana came out of the bathroom. I didn’t even notice her at first—she just kind of appeared, standing in the doorway like a ghost. Her face was so pale I thought maybe she had seen one. “Hana?” I said, blinking at her in confusion. She looked like she was about to collapse, her eyes wide and unfocused. She just stood there for a moment, her hand gripping the doorframe, like she was trying to keep herself steady. I was about to ask her what was going on when she opened her mouth, her voice barely a whisper. “I… I think I’m pregnant,” she said, her words hanging in the air like they didn’t belong to her. It was one of those moments where everything freezes. “What?” I asked, unable to process what she’d just said. She took a shaky breath, the words coming out slowly, like she was trying to convince herself as much as me. “I’m pregnant,” she repeated. I stared at her, my mind doing that thing where it tries to run through every possible explanation, but it all just loops back to the same point: Hana? Pregnant? No way. We were supposed to be the ones with our lives together. Not perfect, but at least not a mess like... this. Hana was always the strong one, the one who had it together, who made sure everything in our chaotic house somehow stayed afloat. I felt a wave of anger and disbelief rush over me. I didn’t know what to feel. Part of me wanted to run away and forget this ever happened. But I couldn’t do that to her. She was my sister. Yet somehow, this felt like a betrayal. Part 2: Silent Guilt and Anger For days, Hana kept to herself, not speaking to anyone but me. I could see how terrified she was, but I couldn’t bring myself to offer her much comfort. Our lives were hard enough already, and her mistake seemed to pile more weight on our already-crushed shoulders. I had become her reluctant keeper of secrets. Our house became eerily quiet, as if everyone was pretending nothing had changed. But everything had changed. I caught myself staring at Hana’s face at the dinner table, wondering how we’d gotten here. How did this happen under our roof? How would our parents react? I didn’t know if Hana was scared or just too ashamed to face the truth. But every time I saw her, I felt like I was looking at someone I didn’t know anymore. And the worst part was, I didn’t know how to help. My immediate and best idea was to save up money and get Hana a quiet abortion, as discreetly as possible. It felt like a cold, practical solution—insensitive, maybe even selfish. But in that moment, I didn’t care. I just wanted to make this disappear before it tore our already delicate family apart. Part 3: The Confrontation It was a Sunday afternoon when it all came crashing down. Hana and I were in the kitchen, making lunch, when Mom came in. I guess Hana wanted to tell her abruptly, casually with no warning so she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. Before I knew what was happening, Hana blurted it out. She said it so quickly, like she wanted to get it over with. “I’m pregnant,” she said, her voice shaking. For a long moment, there was silence. Mom’s face turned pale, and I could see her eyes flicker between shock and anger. Dad wasn’t home yet, but the tension was already thick in the air. Hana looked down at the table, her hands clenched into fists. “You what?” Mom finally managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper. The look on Mom’s face said everything—disappointment, confusion, and fear. I could see her trying to hold it together, but it was clear she wasn’t sure what to say next. Dad walked in a few minutes later, and when he saw the looks on our faces, he froze. “What’s going on?” His tone was sharp, and I could tell he was already on edge. Nobody looked at him. Instead, mum furiously cried out “Your daughter just told me she is pregnant.” And just like that, everything shattered. Dad’s face darkened, his jaw clenched. “This is a joke, right?” he asked, his voice rising. “You’re supposed to be the responsible one, Hana. What nonsense are you up to???” I could see Hana shrinking in on herself, but she didn’t back down. She didn’t run away like I thought she might. Instead, she looked up, and for the first time in days, her eyes were clear. “I’m not perfect,” she said, her voice steady. “I made a mistake. But I don’t know what to do.” I wanted to step in, to say something to break the tension, but I couldn’t find the words. All I could do was watch as the room filled with this heavy, suffocating silence. Series 2: A Mother's Breakdown If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

Read Part 2 A ray of light. The truth is, there isn’t a reset button after an abortion. A person who has gone through an abortion will find themselves grappling with a range of unexpected physical, emotional and social challenges. From subtle bodily changes to profound psychological shifts, the ripple effects can touch every aspect of life. Physical effects of abortion  Bleeding/spotting for 1-2 weeks Stomach cramps Fatigue and weakness Breast tenderness Possible potential complications Infection Heavy bleeding  Incomplete abortion requiring further medical intervention  Emotional & psychological impact Common emotional responses include: sadness, guilt, anger, anxiety, confusion, emotional numbness Decreased self-worth Feelings of shame or inadequacy Potential post-abortion stress syndrome (PASS) Personally, I experienced minimal physical side-effects from the procedure. Instead, I found myself grappling with the emotional and psychological impact, which lingered long after. The pain of my decision still weighs me down to this day. For the first two months after it happened, I remained silent about my experience. My parents noticed I was distant and began asking questions. Their innocent concern only intensified the tension at home, leading to more disagreements and fights, all fuelled by the secret I felt I had to keep. Moving forward Then, the school year began. I knew I couldn’t allow this to continue taking control of my life. I had to make a choice for myself — I could either dwell in sadness or harness it to fuel my journey ahead.  Determined to take that first step toward healing, I decided I would first have to verbalise what had happened.. I reached out to my best friend and asked if we could meet. My best friend was incredibly empathetic and supportive. She reassured me that I could always turn to her, and if I had confided in her sooner, she would have been more than willing to stand by me every step of the way. Perhaps if I had the resolve to seek help earlier, I would have been able to make a more informed decision.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell anyone else including my parents. I don’t know if that abortion would implicate my future relationships. I don’t know if things would have turned out better if I didn’t have the abortion. Regardless, I was glad that I had the courage to open up that day. It marked the beginning of my journey towards healing and moving on.  1 year later I received a message from my best friend: “girl… it came out positive.” If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

It came out positive. My period had been late for about a month. I didn't think much of it as that wasn’t out of the norm. It often happened when I was particularly stressed out. My friends and I liked to joke about it, “You girls are about to become aunts. My period is late again LOL.”  When a second month passed by, I started feeling uneasy and decided to purchase a pregnancy kit at Watsons. I didn’t take it seriously up till the point of waiting for the test results. To my utter shock, it came out positive. I couldn’t believe it. I had a fetus growing inside of me? I simply wasn’t able to comprehend it. I thought that I had been careful enough with using protection, using the ‘pull out method’ or 'doing it' on my safe days. There was no way I could tell my parents about it, they probably even still think that I’m a virgin! How was my boyfriend going to react to the news? 3 days later After days of hesitation and pacing back and forth in my room, I finally gathered the courage to inform my boyfriend. His reaction from finding out was no different from mine - complete shock, helplessness and a loss for words. He asked if I was certain and made me buy another 2 test kits to make sure. There was no doubt then that I was indeed pregnant.  I started to get the impression that he was trying to deflect his responsibility. He asked questions like whether the baby was really his and kept talking about his ambitions and goals in the near future.  Eventually, what I had hoped to delay came to light. My now ex-boyfriend told me that he couldn’t deal with the situation and said that I should quickly terminate the pregnancy. We never officially ended things or talked it out. I regularly texted and called him, pleading for his compassion. I had no one else to turn to. Overtime he became unsupportive and grew distant, then completely stopped responding one day. He had left me in this deep pit all alone. Read Part 2 If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

Read Part 1 Facing my abortion alone. A weight (literally) lifted off me.  Wednesday, 2.45am  My eyelids had grown heavy from reading articles, resources, hospitals…The list goes on and as I lay on my bed, staring at the blank ceiling above me, I made my decision. Friday, 11.30am I boarded the bus On the way, I look out the window  You’re on Your Own, Kid  by   Taylor Swift   resonates in my ear 12.10pm I arrive and cautiously step through the doors My hands are slick in sweat, trembling I look around at the women around me with their partners I suspect I’m the youngest here 12.15pm  The receptionist prompts me for my identification card She was casual, nice.  But all I could think was “How harshly is she judging me?’ 12.30pm  I had my consultation with the gynae He was nice and re-confirmed my pregnancy I told him what I had decided.  12.45pm   I was brought into a cold, sterile room.   The clinic nurse offers me a blanket I was made to watch a counselling video about the abortion process  It made me sad and I tried hard not to think about it. 1.20pm  Before I knew it, the procedure was over. It was done.  As I step back into the world outside, a weight had been lifted. In my solitude, I felt a mix of emotions.  Relief washed over me — I had made a choice, and now I could move forward. Yet, that relief was tinged with sadness, a bittersweet acknowledgment of what I had left behind and the possibilities I had surrendered. The emptiness lingered on, like a hollow echo in my chest. It was a reminder of the gravity of my decision, a void that whispered of potential and loss. I glanced at the bustling streets around me, life continuing in its vibrant chaos, and I wondered how many others were also carrying their own hidden burdens. Read Part 3 If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

When I first found out that my girlfriend was pregnant, I immediately weighed my options. I was in dilemma after dilemma of whether or not to stay with her, whether or not to convince her to terminate the pregnancy and abort the child. We fought countless arguments and were at a complete impasse. Ultimately, I decided that, as a good partner, I couldn’t leave her to navigate this alone. We were in this boat together… until…   When I shared my situation to one of my bros, he casually asked, “Are you even sure the baby is yours?” That question hit me hard. I had never considered the possibility that I might not be the father. What if she had cheated on me? If that were the case, why should I be stressing over this? I could walk away, and the pregnancy would no longer be my concern. If you’re the girl in this situation and you’re wondering why your boyfriend might want a DNA test, hear me out. Being uncertain about the paternity of the baby could stem from various reasons and is often a common point brought up in the midst of an unexpected pregnancy. Your boyfriend is likely experiencing anxiety about the situation, wondering if he is ready for parenthood. He might also be questioning the trust between you and him, afraid that starting a family in bad faith could lead to further complications down the line.  Having open communication Having open communication during this challenging time is crucial for both partners. It allows you to express your feelings, fears, and expectations honestly, creating a foundation of trust that is essential for navigating the complexities of an unexpected pregnancy. Start by setting aside time to talk without distractions—find a quiet place where you can both feel comfortable. Approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to listen; ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue. Share your thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy and be honest about any doubts or concerns you both have. Trust that your partner is able and willing to understand your worries. Of course, it’s important to validate each other’s emotions, even if they differ. Establishing a safe space for discussion can help clarify misunderstandings, strengthen your bond, and ultimately guide both of you in making informed decisions about the future. How the DNA test works You might be concerned about the complexities of a DNA test. In reality however, getting it done is straightforward and quick! Non-invasive prenatal paternity (NIPP) This noninvasive test is the most accurate way to establish paternity during pregnancy. It involves taking a blood sample from the alleged father and the mother to conduct a fetal cell analysis. You can also use this test   after the baby is born with just a cheek swab.  Essentially, all you need to do is get a blood sample taken! In navigating the challenges of an unexpected pregnancy, open communication and understanding are essential for both partners. While the request for a DNA test can bring up feelings of doubt and insecurity, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and clarity. By discussing fears, expectations and the process of testing, you can build a stronger foundation for your relationship and make informed decisions together. Remember, facing this journey as a united front can help you both grow regardless of the outcome. If someone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483 . Remember that you're not alone.

Welcoming a new baby is an incredible experience, but the reality of raising a child on a budget is something many new parents face head-on. Whether you're a single mum or simply navigating new parenthood on your own terms, taking control of finances can feel overwhelming. Fear not! With a smart approach to budgeting, you can ensure your baby has everything they need without emptying your wallet.  1. Understanding Your New Budget When a new baby arrives, your budget and expenses need a reset. Start by jotting down all essential monthly expenses such as rent, groceries, utilities and then add the “baby must-haves” such as diapers, formula and clothing.  Consider creating a simple spreadsheet or using a budgeting app which will give you a clear view of where your money is going and help you adjust when necessary.  Diapers Around $2.16 daily for newborns, which increases to $3.30 as your baby grows Formula Milk $50 per tin, with most babies needing three tins a month at six months old Healthcare Pediatrician visits are crucial, costing around $120 each. With approximately 8 visits during infancy, the bills add up Figures taken from Seedly . 2. Prioritise Essentials Over Wants Before adding that designer stroller to your cart, ask yourself: “Is this something we really need?” Yes, baby stores are full of adorable items, but babies actually need only a few basics. Tip : Diapers and Wipes: Keep plenty on hand. You’ll go through about 4–6 diapers per day. 3. Shop Smart with Second Hand Options  You don’t have to pay top dollar for baby essentials. Shop savvy by looking for sales, using coupons and exploring second-hand options. Many pre-loved items like strollers and playpens can be available for a fraction of the original price. Tip : Join parenting groups online where you can find reusable second-hand items from other parents. 4. Create a Baby Fund A baby fund can be a lifesaver especially when unexpected expenses arise. Set aside a little money each month and soon those small sums will add up to a sizable pool which will come in handy in an emergency or when your bundle of joy grows each day and you need larger-sized clothing, new toys and a larger variety of food to suit baby's needs.  Tip : Start with manageable goals like saving $20 a week. By the end of the year, that’s over $1,000 in savings! 5. Embrace DIY Baby Solutions Sometimes the best solutions don’t have to come from a store! DIY is a great way to cut costs and add a personal touch to baby items. For some healthy homemade baby food without the costs of paying for expensive jars of baby food, you can also easily blend fruits and vegetables at home. Make Your Own Baby Wipes: Grab some paper towels, baby soap and water for a cost-effective DIY solution that's easy to make. 6. Tap into Community Resources Libraries, for instance, often offer free classes for new parents and there are many support groups where you can find baby supplies for free or at a fraction of the cost.  Utilising these community resources is like having a support squad that can help you lighten your financial load, so you can focus on enjoying time with your baby. Tip : Look into parenting groups that might offer free or discounted baby supplies, classes and even babysitting services. 7. Keep Track and Adjust Regularly Babies grow fast, and their needs change just as quickly. Bought too many onesies in a single size only to have your baby outgrow them in a month? No worries. Set aside time every month to review your baby budget and adjust as necessary. Check out Part 2 of Manage Newborn Expenses Like A Pro here. *Information in this article is not to be treated as medical or financial advice. All budget figures taken from Seedly .

For many moms-to-be, coffee is more than just a drink. It’s a lifestyle staple. As coffee contains caffeine, a powerful stimulant for the body, the question many pregnant mums may ask is , “Will caffeine harm my baby? Do I have to give up my morning brew?” Caffeine increases your heart rate and boosts energy levels. It can cross the placenta and affect the fetus. Over the years, people have been concerned about whether it may affect fetal brain development. Earlier studies have shown that increased coffee consumption during pregnancy is associated with the child having neurodevelopmental difficulties. These may include difficulties with language, motor skills, attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. Since developing babies aren’t able to process caffeine as efficiently as adults, high amounts may lead to these issues. However, recent research which looked at 58,694 Norwegian mothers over 2 decades has found no causal link between drinking coffee during pregnancy and the child’s neurodevelopmental difficulties. That means it is safe to keep drinking coffee.  According to international guidelines, low to moderate consumption is safe for the mother and developing baby. For most people, that means sticking to below 200mg of caffeine per day – which is roughly equivalent to one 12-ounce cup of coffee. What Does 200 Milligrams Look Like? A typical 8-ounce cup of brewed coffee contains about  95 milligrams of caffeine , while a 12-ounce cup contains around  140 milligrams . So, as long as you stick to around 12 ounces or less per day, you are good to go. But caffeine isn’t just in coffee. If you drink tea, nibble on chocolate, or gulp down a soda drink, you are consuming caffeine, too. A 12-ounce can of soda has about  35 milligrams of caffeine , and a cup of black tea contains roughly  47 milligrams . If you love energy drinks, you might want to be extra careful—some can contain  200 milligrams or more per serving . The Perks of Coffee During Pregnancy For many women, a daily coffee break is good for their mental wellness. Coffee can bring a sense of calm and normalcy, especially during a time when pregnancy is causing so many changes in the body. Exhaustion is common especially in the later part of pregnancy. A cup of coffee can be of help when you are battling fatigue or trying to stay focused during your daily routine. Tips for Enjoying Coffee Safely While moderate coffee intake is safe, there are a few tips you can keep in mind to ensure you’re staying on track with your caffeine consumption: Chart Your Caffeine Intake : Keep an eye on all sources of caffeine, not just your coffee. Make a note of teas, chocolate, and sodas you might be consuming throughout the day.  Try Decaffeinated coffee : If you’re someone who loves the ritual of coffee but wants to lower your caffeine intake, decaffeinated coffee is a great option Change to alternatives : You can swap your coffee for an alternative like herbal teas, a smoothie, or a caffeine-free latte. Sip Smart, Stay Relaxed Pregnancy is a time full of changes, but you do not have to give up coffee completely. A daily cup of coffee is more than just a caffeine boost—it is a moment of “me time,” a ritual that brings joy. As long as you keep it to  one or two cups a day , you can enjoy your brew without guilt.

Being a mum is a full-time job and it’s easy to put your personal needs on the back burner. But remember that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of the family. Start Your Day With A Breakfast Boost Breakfast is the fuel that kickstarts your hectic day. Think of oatmeal topped with fruit or scrambled eggs with veggies. Both options provide the nutrients you need without adding too much sugar to your diet. Stay Active With Fun Family Activities You don’t need a gym membership to stay fit. Turn family time into fun workout time! Go for bike rides, play tag in the park or dance around the living room. These activities keep you moving and make exercise feel less like a chore. Plus, your kids will love it! Drink Up & Stay Hydrated Drinking more fluids especially water helps keep you hydrated throughout the day. Carry a water bottle wherever you go and set reminders on your phone to drink water throughout the day. Adding a slice of lemon or cucumber can make water extra refreshing. Snack The Smart Way When the hunger pangs hit, it’s tempting to grab chips or candy. Instead, stock up on healthy snacks. Think yogurt, nuts or fresh fruit. These snacks not only satisfy your cravings but also provide your body with energy and nutrients. Prioritise Sleep (Zzzz) Sleep is essential, but it’s often the first thing we skip when we have a dozen things to do at the same time. Think of rest like charging your phone; without it, you won't function right. Establish a bedtime routine, so that you can wind down after a long day. Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep. If it’s hard to settle down, try reading a book or listening to calming music. Connect With Your Community Make time to meet with friends, join a book club or simply connect with other mums. Sharing experiences can do wonders for your mental well-being. Take a Moment for Yourself (Or Two) In the chaos of daily life, it’s crucial to take a breather. Try mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation. Just a few minutes of quiet time can clear your head and make you feel refreshed. Think of it as pressing a reset button when you're stressed out. Set Small Goals Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be complicated. Remember, it’s all about making small, manageable changes that fit into your busy schedule. Whether it’s cooking a healthy meal, bonding over family activities or simply taking a moment for yourself, a small change can go a long way. Viva busy mums! *Tips are solely the writer's opinion and in no way represent a medical point of view. If you have special dietary needs, please consult your doctor before following our tips.

Love is often described as unconditional, selfless, self-sacrificial or even tough, painful and unreciprocated. Society expects a mother, especially a new one, to immediately shower her new born child with all the love a human can possibly feel and show. No one stops to consider the hours prior to this joyous moment. The pain and emotional turmoil the woman has endured. "Mummy, I'm completely dependent on you!" Seconds after my first daughter was born, she was placed gently on my chest. My first thought was…wow she’s purple! Next, she’s slimy!  I can laugh about it now, after 31 years. But it was a scary moment.  In the days that followed, my hormone levels were like a roller coaster, I was exhausted from sleep deprivation and to top it off, the perpetual feeling of being a milk dispenser. It was hardly the environment for any affectionate feelings.  And yet…  When I cuddled my baby each time she cried from hunger, colic, wet or soiled diapers, loneliness or just boredom, my heart melted. I looked into her eyes and it said, “Mummy, I’m completely dependent on you”. I can’t help but love this little human totally. I want to protect, guide and teach her unconditionally, selflessly. I want to sacrifice for her… Click here for Part 2.

The years pass, and that little “nugget’ has grown, along with two other munchkins. The roller coaster ride was now not just hormonal, but a lesson for all. We had numerous moments of joy, laughter and crazy banter. There were also times of frustration, anger, school stress, scolding, and nagging.  "We are the very first teachers in our children's lives." The lesson I’ve learnt is that we as parents want what’s best for our children. The love we show or sometimes don’t show, begins from that first day. We all want to love our kids to bits. But we have a duty. A duty to mold, to teach, to discipline and to stand by them no matter what. Throughout their lives. We, the parents, are after all the very first teachers in our children’s lives. They depend on us completely in the beginning and we have the choice to start that process in providing them the tools to become not just good but great human beings.  "Tough love is at times necessary and beneficial." The love we have for them is not and should not be quantified. We know how much we love them, but we need to know how much to show or give at different times. Tough love, we sometimes hear about, is at times necessary and beneficial. It teaches resilience, problem-solving and initiative.  Yes it would be painful and hurtful to us when our children rebel and do the opposite of what we had hoped. In reality they would at some point. That would be the test of how much we will support and stand by them. We have to decide when to tell them they are wrong.   So how much do we love our children? The answer is, with every cell of our being.  I learnt long ago from a wise counselor, that we need to “be firm, but kind”. I applied this theory whenever possible. Even towards other children in my profession. And I must say it works wonders! However, the most important ingredient has to be genuine love. Children are awfully sensitive and they’ll know instantly if you’re faking it… Enjoy your children for who they are. Each one a unique star who makes up the universe.

Congratulations on the arrival of your little one! Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience and it's natural to feel a mix of emotions as you navigate this new chapter in life. If like many new mums, you're looking to return to the workforce in Singapore after your first baby, here are some practical tips and suggestions for you to consider in your job search. Prioritising Your Needs As you start your job search, it's important to take a step back and reflect on your priorities. What's the most important to you? Is it work-life balance? A flexible schedules or being able to work remotely or part-time? Many employers in Singapore are becoming more open to flexible work arrangements such as remote work, flexible hours, or part-time schedules. Revamping Your Resume Take the time to update your resume, highlighting your skills and experiences that are relevant to the roles you're applying for. Include any volunteer work or freelance projects you've undertaken during your pregnancy period. Leveraging On Your Network Reach out to your professional network including former colleagues, industry contacts and even other parents in your community. They may be aware of job opportunities that align with your needs. Preparing for Interviews Be ready to discuss how you can balance your professional responsibilities with your family commitments. Highlight your time-management skills and your ability to work efficiently. Remember that all mothers are excellent multi-taskers. If you're concerned about how your new parental status may affect your job prospects, be proactive in addressing these concerns during the interview process. Emphasise your commitment to the role and your ability to contribute to the company's success. Returning to the workforce will definitely be a challenge now that you have a child to take care of too, but take heart, the right opportunity is out there waiting for you!