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A sudden unexpected pregnancy can be extremely overwhelming, but knowing your rights during these times can help you make the right decisions. In Singapore, several laws and resources support women facing this life-changing situation. Understanding Your Rights In Singapore, expectant parents are protected by several laws. It’s important to know that you have rights under the Employment Act including maternity leave and protection against discrimination. If you're employed, you have the right to maternity leave if you meet specific criteria. This enables you to take time off to prepare for the baby's arrival and to recuperate afterward, easing the pressures of both work and parenthood. Maternity Leave and Benefits Maternity benefits can be a lifeline. If you've been working for at least three months and meet other requirements, you’re entitled to up to 16 weeks of paid maternity leave. This time is invaluable as you can focus on your health and your child's well-being without worrying about job security. Also, there’s the Baby Bonus Scheme and Child Development Account (CDA) that the government funds to help with expenses related to your baby’s growth and education. Options for Unplanned Pregnancy An unplanned pregnancy often involves tough decisions. You may be wondering, “What are my options?” In Singapore, there are three main paths: parenting, adoption, or termination of pregnancy. Each choice comes with legal rights and responsibilities. If you decide to parent, you can seek government assistance through programmes that support new parents. Finding community groups or networks can also provide additional emotional support. Adoption enables your baby to enjoy the love and care of a family with a loving family while you can move forward with your life. Speak to licensed adoption agencies that can guide you through this journey. If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, the law in Singapore allows for safe and legal abortion procedures under specific conditions. Consult a qualified doctor to discuss your options, potential risks, and aftercare. Emotional support services are also available to help you through this difficult decision. Accessibility to Healthcare Services Access to healthcare services is a fundamental right. In Singapore, numerous public clinics provide reproductive health services, including counselling and medical care related to pregnancy. It’s crucial to reach out to healthcare professionals who can offer you information tailored to your situation. Importance of Counselling and Support Navigating an unplanned pregnancy can be emotionally taxing. Many organisations provide free or low-cost counselling, ensuring that you have someone who can support you, letting you talk through your feelings and receive guidance without breaking the bank. This can make the journey ahead feel less daunting. Navigating an unplanned pregnancy can be emotionally taxing. Many organisations provide free or low-cost counselling, ensuring that you have someone who can support you, letting you talk through your feelings and receive guidance without breaking the bank. This can make the journey ahead feel less daunting.

Pregnancy is a beautiful and transformative experience, but it can also come with its fair share of challenges including the dreaded morning sickness. When the nausea strikes, it's essential to find nourishing and comforting food that can help you feel better and support your growing baby. Ginger: A well-known natural remedy for nausea, making it an excellent choice for pregnant women experiencing morning sickness. It can be consumed in various forms such as ginger tea, ginger ale, or even ginger chews. The active compounds in ginger, known as gingerols, have been shown to help reduce the severity of morning sickness and provide relief. Bland and Easy-to-Digest Foods : Crackers: Saltine crackers or whole-grain crackers can help settle your stomach and provide a gentle source of carbohydrates. Toast: Plain, white toast or whole-grain toast can be a comforting and easy-to-digest option. Bananas: Bananas are a great source of potassium, which can help replace electrolytes lost through vomiting. Rice: Plain, white rice is a gentle and soothing option that can be easily digested. Hydration is key when you're experiencing morning sickness as it can lead to dehydration. Aim to drink small, frequent sips of water, herbal tea, or electrolyte-rich beverages like coconut water or sports drinks. Avoid sugary or carbonated drinks, as they may further upset your stomach. Navigating morning sickness during pregnancy can be challenging, but by incorporating the right foods into your diet, you can help alleviate your symptoms and still nourish both you and your growing baby.

She had been warned that fatigue would increase as her pregnancy progressed. But she felt more exhausted and tired than usual. M, 30, a first-time mum was at 28 weeks of pregnancy. Her short evening walk after dinner left her breathless with her heart pumping rapidly. She also felt a little dizzy. Her husband was very concerned and brought her for a consultation. She looked pale and her resting heart rate was slightly elevated at 100 beats per minute. Ultrasound examination of her foetus was normal. Blood tests, however, showed that she was anemic with a low iron reserve. M was suffering from iron-deficiency anemia, a common condition during pregnancy. Iron-deficiency anemia occurs when the body lacks enough iron to produce hemoglobin, a substance in red blood cells that helps carry oxygen. As pregnancy progresses, the foetus requires more nutrients, including iron, to help develop its red blood cells and support its growth. Unfortunately, M’s iron stores were too low to meet these needs. With her iron levels depleted, she could not provide enough oxygen to her own tissues. This explained her pale appearance, breathlessness and fatigue. Prevalence of Iron-deficiency in Singapore Local studies have found that anaemia is seen in one in five women of reproductive age and about three-quarters of pregnant mums suffer from iron deficiency. Importance of iron during pregnancy Iron is crucial during pregnancy for the following reasons, as it supports both the health of the mother and the developing baby: 1. Formation of Hemoglobin Iron is essential for making hemoglobin, the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to tissues. During pregnancy, a woman’s blood volume increases, requiring more hemoglobin to support both the mother and the growing baby. 2. Prevention of Anemia Severe anemia during pregnancy is associated with preterm delivery, low birth weight, and increased risk of maternal death. 3. Fetal Development Iron is important for the baby’s brain development. It supports the growth of the fetal brain and nervous system, and a deficiency in iron can lead to cognitive and developmental issues later in life. 4. Immune Function Iron also plays a role in the immune system. Adequate iron levels help maintain the mother's immune function, which is critical during pregnancy when her immune system is slightly suppressed to accommodate the growing fetus. 5. Placental and Fetal Growth Iron contributes to the proper formation of the placenta and supports the growth of the fetus. Low iron levels can impair placental function, which can affect the delivery of nutrients and oxygen to the baby. 6. Increased Energy Levels Adequate iron intake helps pregnant women maintain energy levels by supporting their body's ability to carry oxygen efficiently to muscles and tissues. 7. Compensating for Blood Loss During Delivery Labor and delivery can result in significant blood loss, which depletes the body’s iron stores. Iron helps in the replenishment of hemoglobin levels and healing after childbirth. Iron helps prevent postpartum fatigue and weakness. 8. Supporting Milk Production Iron is essential for the production of breast milk. Adequate iron levels ensure that the baby receives iron through breast milk, supporting its growth and development. Recommended Iron Dosage During Pregnancy : 27 mg per day  is the recommended daily intake of iron for pregnant women. Diagnosis of iron-deficiency anemia Common symptoms of iron deficiency anemia, which include: Fatigue or weakness Dizziness or lightheadedness Shortness of breath Pale skin, especially noticeable in the face or hands Rapid or irregular heartbeat Cold hands and feet Headaches Brittle nails or hair loss Laboratory Tests include: Full   Blood Count Serum Ferritin: This test measures the amount of stored iron in the body. A low ferritin level (less than 30 ng/mL) is a strong indicator of iron deficiency. Serum Iron: Low levels suggest iron deficiency. When Should Blood Tests Be done? Pregnant women should be routinely screened for anemia during the first prenatal visit and again in the second or third trimester. Women with risk factors for anemia such as poor eating habits, frequent pregnancies, or heavy menstrual periods before pregnancy, may require more frequent testing. M was much relieved when I reassured her that with adequate and early intervention, her condition would improve. The treatment plan involved changes in her diet and the addition of iron supplements. M began eating more iron-rich foods. She also took iron pills diligently. By the time she was near her due date, her iron levels and haemoglobin had risen. She eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Being a mum can sometimes feel like you have to juggle a million things all at once. School drop-offs, work deadlines, and endless to-do lists can leave little room for yourself. But fret not! 'Me time' is not just a dream. It's completely possible. Embrace the Early Hours Whether it’s sipping coffee while the world is still asleep or enjoying a short workout, those quiet moments early in the morning can really set a positive tone for your day. It’s like discovering an extra hour, allowing you to recharge without interruptions. Set Boundaries with Family Does it feel like everyone always needs something from you? Setting boundaries can be hard, but it’s essential. Create a designated "me time" period during the week for yourself. Just like a phone needs charging to function, so do you! Utilise Down Time Life as a busy mum is filled with waiting. Whether it’s waiting for kids after extra-curricular activities, these can be great opportunities for personal time. Instead of scrolling through social media, consider reading a book, practicing mindfulness or even just enjoying a moment of peace. Delegate and Share Responsibilities Are you doing everything yourself? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s getting the older kids to pitch in with chores or talking to your partner about splitting tasks, sharing responsibilities is key. Picture life as a pizza — everyone gets a slice! By delegating, you free up your time, allowing you to focus on what truly matters — yourself. Prioritize Self-Care Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Make it a priority. Schedule regular 'you time' in your calendar, just like any important appointment. Taking time to nurture yourself is vital. Think of it as watering a plant; without care, you can’t flourish. Create a Schedule Do you thrive on routines? Creating a schedule can help you map out your day, allowing for dedicated personal time. Block out moments in your day just for you. Maybe it’s a half-hour in the afternoon to take a walk or time in the evening to binge-watch your favorite show. Disconnect from Technology In our tech-savvy world, it’s easy to get lost on social media and the online world. Setting aside tech-free time is akin to giving your mind a mini-vacation — it can be refreshing and rejuvenating. Finally, remember that 'me time' is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity for leading a balanced life. So go ahead, make yourself a priority and watch how your days are transformed with greater positivity.

How would you rate your level of communication with your spouse? What would you say is your communication style? How much of it reminds you of how your parents have been communicating with each other & you have unconsciously brought a similar style to yours? Most importantly: How effective has it been? Research on what makes marriage work indicates that happy and healthy couples demonstrate a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative behaviors in their relationship. This means there are five times as many positive interactions between happy couples (i.e. listening, validating the other person, using soft words, expressing appreciation, affirmation, physical affection, compliments, etc.) as there are negative (i.e. raising one’s voice, stating a complaint, or expressing one’s anger). Tips for improving the quality of communication in your relationship: Be intentional about spending time together talking. The average couple spends only 20 minutes a week talking with each other. Turn off the technology and make it a point to spend 20-30 minutes a day catching up with each other. Use more "I" statements and less "You" statements. This decreases the chances of your spouse feeling like they need to defend themselves. For example, “I wish you would acknowledge more often how much work I do at home to take care of you and the children.” Be specific. When issues arise, be specific. Broad generalizations like, "You do it all the time!" are not helpful. Avoid mind-reading. It is very frustrating when someone else acts like they know better than you what you were really thinking. Express negative feelings constructively. There will be times when you feel bitterness, resentment, disappointment or disapproval. These feelings need to be communicated in order for change to occur. BUT - How you express these thoughts is critical. “I am really disappointed that you are working late again tonight,” is very different from, “You clearly do not care one whit about me or the kids. If you did, you would not work late every night.” Listen without being defensive. For a marriage to succeed, both spouses must be able to hear each other’s complaints without getting defensive. This is much harder than learning how to express negative feelings effectively. Freely express positive feelings. Most people are quick to express negative feelings than positive ones. It is vital to the health of your marriage that you affirm your spouse. Positive feelings such as appreciation, affection, respect, admiration, approval, and warmth expressed to your spouse are like making deposits into your love account. You should have five positive deposits for every one negative. If your compliments exceed your complaints, your spouse will pay attention to your grievances. If your complaints exceed your compliments, your criticism will fall on deaf ears. (excerpt is taken from: https://firstthings.org/keys-to-effective-communication-in-marriage ) Effective communication takes time to put in place and to develop. Just as we are not the same the day we got married, the same goes for the way we have been communicating with our spouse and those around us - it grows and matures. If you feel there is room for improvement, allow yourself time to make the changes. Likewise, if you sense that your spouse is trying to change his/her way of communicating, allow a period of adjustment and encourage him/her with gentle reminders as well as affirmations. If your communication with your spouse could do with some change but you don't know where to begin the change, why not speak to our Counsellor? Contact us at 62588816, email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service

The holiday season is upon us once again! It is amazing how the year has just flown by - so many things must have happened over the past 12 months. As we grow older and have more things going on in our lives, festive seasons, even though it should be a time for loads of joy, love, and laughter (well, actually mainly for kids), it can be rather stressful too. We hope this piece can help reduce some of these stress as you navigate the season: GIFT-GIVING : this is one of the most dreaded (oops, sorry, just being honest here!) parts of Christmas. Who to buy for, what to buy, how much to spend, making time to buy them (even if it is done online)... Here are some suggestions: start shopping early; perhaps take advantage of the Great Singapore Sale, Single's Day Sale, Black Friday cum Cyber Monday Sales? Amongst circles of family and friends, agree with each other whether it is a family gift (one gift per family versus one gift for each member), gifts for kids only, agree on a budget for each gift, how about suggesting a charity all can contribute towards instead? Only you would know your financial situation best and work out a budget that you can stick to and still feel good about. Remember that holiday seasons are more than just buying gifts. You're probably not the only one who doesn't care about how many presents to get, so remember that your friends and family probably care more about your company than your gifts. GET-TOGETHERS: Whether you are hosting or visiting, each has its own set of stress. Do you visit my in-laws or your folks first? This itself can bring on a quarrel, right? Since there are 12 days of Christmas, you don't have to fit all the visits or get-togethers in one day. Space them out and pace yourself. This way, you can enjoy each gathering without having to rush to another and remain sane. What and how many dishes should you prepare? When do you start buying the ingredients (oh no! There isn't enough space in the fridge!) Don't feel bad about asking your guests to bring a dish each. They will surely understand and, this way, everyone can enjoy the gathering! LONELINESS & GRIEF: Holidays are also the time some of us feel weepy; we may feel the huge gap left behind by our family members or friends who have passed. It is ok to feel this way, after all, we had good times with them and because we love them, it is natural to miss them. Take your time to acknowledge this and remember the good times you had together during these seasons. Know that there will be others who will be missing the same persons too so why not reach out and talk to them too; reminisce the good moments. This way, you are celebrating the lives of those who have departed as well as savouring and building new memories with those who are in your lives now. If you feel blue despite trying out these tips, why not speak to our Counsellor? Contact us at 62588816, email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service

The holiday season is upon us once again! It is amazing how the year has just flown by - so many things must have happened over the past 12 months. As we grow older and have more things going on in our lives, festive seasons, even though it should be a time for loads of joy, love, and laughter (well, actually mainly for kids), it can be rather stressful too. We hope this piece can help reduce some of these stress as you navigate the season: GIFT-GIVING : this is one of the most dreaded (oops, sorry, just being honest here!) parts of Christmas. Who to buy for, what to buy, how much to spend, making time to buy them (even if it is done online)... Here are some suggestions: start shopping early; perhaps take advantage of the Great Singapore Sale, Single's Day Sale, Black Friday cum Cyber Monday Sales? Amongst circles of family and friends, agree with each other whether it is a family gift (one gift per family versus one gift for each member), gifts for kids only, agree on a budget for each gift, how about suggesting a charity all can contribute towards instead? Only you would know your financial situation best and work out a budget that you can stick to and still feel good about. Remember that holiday seasons are more than just buying gifts. You're probably not the only one who doesn't care about how many presents to get, so remember that your friends and family probably care more about your company than your gifts. GET-TOGETHERS: Whether you are hosting or visiting, each has its own set of stress. Do you visit my in-laws or your folks first? This itself can bring on a quarrel, right? Since there are 12 days of Christmas, you don't have to fit all the visits or get-togethers in one day. Space them out and pace yourself. This way, you can enjoy each gathering without having to rush to another and remain sane. What and how many dishes should you prepare? When do you start buying the ingredients (oh no! There isn't enough space in the fridge!) Don't feel bad about asking your guests to bring a dish each. They will surely understand and, this way, everyone can enjoy the gathering! LONELINESS & GRIEF: Holidays are also the time some of us feel weepy; we may feel the huge gap left behind by our family members or friends who have passed. It is ok to feel this way, after all, we had good times with them and because we love them, it is natural to miss them. Take your time to acknowledge this and remember the good times you had together during these seasons. Know that there will be others who will be missing the same persons too so why not reach out and talk to them too; reminisce the good moments. This way, you are celebrating the lives of those who have departed as well as savouring and building new memories with those who are in your lives now. It is perfectly no to feel down but if you feel blue despite trying out these tips, why not speak to our Counsellor? Contact us at 62588816 , email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service

Our relationship with money differs from person to person hence when expectations are not aligned, money may be the cause of many misunderstandings. When it comes to finances, building and maintaining healthy money habits is an ongoing pursuit. You may begin with five core actions: 1. Spend less than you make 2. Be wise with debt 3. Protect yourself against setbacks 4. Have a short- and long-term plan 5. Give of yourself Adopting these money management habits depends on your needs and where you are on life's journey. “The habit of saving is itself an education; it fosters every virtue, teaches self-denial, cultivates the sense of order, trains to forethought, and so broadens the mind.”— T.T. Munger Click to read more here: At aLife, you may seek counseling concerning any family matters. Call us at 62588816, email contact@alife.org.sg or book an appointment online at https://www.alife.org.sg/book-online/counseling-service

She was in a daze when I told her that her baby had pooped inside her womb. C, a 35 year old first-time mum, was at her 41 weeks of gestation. She was admitted for an induction of labour as her baby had passed the due date by one week. When I ruptured the water bag with an amnihook-- a long, thin plastic hook that resembles a crochet hook-- to get the labour going, out gushed a gooey and tenacious dark green amniotic fluid resembling the appearance of thick green pea soup. The foetal heart rate was also low at 110 beats per minutes with decelerations seen in between uterine contractions. As these were signs of foetal distress, an emergency caesarean section was carried out immediately. The baby was flaccid at birth with a low Apgar score. Luckily, he became active and gave a good cry after resuscitation. He was sent to high dependency unit for monitoring immediately. The greenish material in the amniotic fluid is the baby’s poop called meconium. It is formed as a result of the baby swallowing the amniotic fluid during pregnancy. It contains debris such as mucus, bile, and the baby's body hairs. About one in ten babies defecates before he/she is born. It is not completely understood why he/she does this in the womb. It is usually associated with foetal distress. Studies have shown that the thicker and darker the poop, the worse the foetal outcome at delivery.  It is believed that the lack of oxygen may cause foetal intestine to move more actively and the anus to relax, resulting in the release of the meconium into the amniotic fluid. Meconium stained amniotic fluid is usually associated with · Placental malfunction · Hypertensive disease of pregnancy (pre-eclampsia) · Diabetes · Post-date pregnancy · Intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) · Increased maternal age Other than birth asphyxia, the baby may suffer from a potentially life-threatening condition when he takes his first breath and inhales the poop into his lungs. This may result in blockage of the airway, respiratory distress and pneumonia—a condition called meconium aspiration syndrome (MAS). Fortunately, this condition is not common. C was very relieved when she was discharged. Her baby did not develop MAS and was discharged well after 3 days of close observation. "Doc, we are grateful for your decisive and rapid intervention. You saved my baby, ” she said with tears of joy welling in her eyes.

She showed up at my clinic without an appointment and asked if she could see me for a few minute. D had been my patient for the past five years. She was 32 and a disciplined, thoughtful and caring person. It was rather unusual for her to show up at my clinic unannounced. I thought she might have some serious problem. Instead, she was beaming with joy as she placed an invitation card on my table. “Doc, I am getting married,” she said. “Can I invite you to solemnise our marriage?” I met D’s husband, an engineer on the day of their marriage. He was 36 and seemed introverted, shy and soft spoken. I expected good news from D when she came for a consultation six months later. Instead, she burst into tears when she saw me. “Our honeymoon was a disaster” she sobbed. “We could not consummate our marriage.” Apparently, her husband ejaculated before penetration every time. “Was he tense? Did it happen every time?” I asked. “Yes. He was very tense. I asked him to take it easy and encouraged him to try the next day. “But again there was no success. We tried a few more times and failed. For the past few months, our sexual desires have waned. We hardly attempt sex now and quarrel over this occasionally. We have lost confidence completely and need help.” D’s husband has a condition called premature ejaculation (PE). An occasional instance of PE might not be cause for concern, but if the problem occurs with more than 50 per cent of attempted sexual relations, a dysfunctional pattern usually exists for which treatment maybe appropriate. PE is a very distressing and common sexual problem when the man is unable to control ejaculation voluntarily. It is estimated that about 10 to 40 per cent of men have this trouble. It is less common in older men when the threshold for orgasm is raised. As in D’s case, PE is devastating for a man’s self-esteem and makes the couple unhappy and frustrated. It threatens or can even ruin a marriage, simply because it spoils their sex lives. The exact cause of PE is not well understood although the majority of cases are attributable to psychological factors. Animal studies have shown that a low level of the chemical serotonin in some areas in the brain could cause premature ejaculation. This theory is supported by the proven effectiveness of anti-anxiety medication or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which increase serotonin levels in the brain in treating PE. Anxiety plays an important part in many cases. If the husband is nervous, he is likely to climax quickly. Some men take a small amount of alcohol to ease their nerves hoping it will make them less likely to climax prematurely. However, this does not work in most cases. I taught D’s husband some simple distraction techniques such as turning his attention to something else when he felt climax was near. These methods did not work for him. He tried to apply a local anaesthetic cream to numb his penis shortly before intercourse. But that resulted in D developing an allergic reaction to the cream. Although SSRIs have been used successfully to treat PE, D and her husband preferred not to take a drug as they were afraid of side-effects. They opted instead to try one of the behaviour modification methods widely used to treat PE which I could advise them about. D and her husband practiced diligently over a period of two months. With motivation and under careful instruction, her husband finally learnt how to delay ejaculation.

Q. I am 32 years old and have been trying to conceive for the past 1 year. My friend has advised me to take vitamin D in addition to other supplements. She told me vitamin D helps in fertility. Is it true? A. Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin. It is produced by the body through exposure to sunshine and is present in food such as fatty fish and egg yolk. It helps the body control the calcium and phosphate levels so that the bones can be healthy and strong. Recent studies have suggested that it may be involved in a range of medical conditions including cardiovascular diseases, cancers and fertility. Animal studies have suggested that vitamin D may play a part in regulating the reproductive processes. It can affect the production of sex hormones and may help in the production and maturation of sperm. The lining cells of the womb (uterus) and the maturation of egg are also influenced by the levels of vitamin D in the body. In humans, vitamin D has been shown to help improve ovulation in women with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and also, to prevent the occurrence of endometriosis. Some studies have also shown that vitamin D supplementation can increase semen quality, testosterone concentrations as well as the success rates of in-vitro fertilisation (IVF). Despite all these accumulating evidence, there is no general consensus that vitamin D can boost fertility and conception rates. More extensive research is needed to determine its role in reproductive health. Nevertheless, since vitamin D can be easily obtained through sunshine, food or supplements, there is nothing to lose and possibly much to gain by making sure that its levels in the body is optimal in the preparation for a healthy pregnancy. Follow Dr.Peter Chew’s articles on aLife’s facebook page https://www.facebook.com/alife.org.sg as well as http://alife.org.sg/articles/ .