1	I Chose to Say Yes!
2	My journey to a bundle of joy
3	Made in Japan!
4	You're pregnant. Well done!
5	May The Stork Visit You Soon
6	Reflection Of Motherhood
7	Saved From An Abortion!
8	Have You Room In Your Heart?
9	Singapore Miracle Baby
10	Please Don't Give Up, Don't Go For An Abortion!
11	Thank you, Ah Gong!
12	My Baby, My Inspiration.

I just turned 16 a few weeks ago. Last year, another life was in my tummy yet I didn't know. My appetite was normal and surprisingly, my monthly period came although it was scanty. I didn't bother much about it. Until late December, I started to feel a little movements inside my tummy, I felt kicks. From then on, my tummy was also getting bigger each day. I also started to urine more often each day. I decided to take a pregnancy test and the results were positive. Yes, I did feel scared, terribly frightened. I had to do something quick without my parents knowing.

Like many teenagers, the first thought was to get rid of the fetus through abortion. After being brought to a general practitioner, I found out that the fetus inside was already 6 months! It was too late for an abortion. After a few weeks, I was brought to a gynaecologist and found out that the fetus was already 7 months. By then I had to tell my parents, someone special helped me to convey my situation to my parents. Naturally, they were shocked and at a loss. My mother cried night through nights. My father on the other hand was trying to take things cool. For me, I felt hurt. I've let my parents down but I really needed their support. Being my parents, they gave me all their support and I was very grateful.

Through those days, I had to admit that it was really stressful. My mother kept nagging at me so did my dad. I know they meant well, but I couldn't take (it). I kept yelling inside. Frankly, I wanted to jump off the window but I didn't have the courage to do so. My parents were also worried about me going to school with a big tummy but I was lucky as during that period of time, it was also the period of SARS, so the schools were closed.

The day when I gave birth to another life was the day I didn't believe the experience I was going through. It wasn't that painful, maybe because I had too much fear within me. I finally gave (birth) to a very sweet looking baby boy. He was pre-mature, so I only had a glance at him before he was taken away. I would never forget that day. After that day, more troubles came. My parents didn't know whether to adopt the baby out or to keep it. It was really hard as the decision lies all within me. Moreover my dad was more for adoption but my mother was for the other route. I kept asking myself "How?"

After much consideration, we had to adopt the baby out. It's a very (cruel) choice but we had to as my family is financially tight and my parents did not want my studies to be affected. It really hurts to give your flesh and blood away. My bond with my baby grew stronger each day but I kept thinking the baby's foster parents would probably give him the love and luxury I would never be able to give. Maybe if there's fate we would meet again.

Moreover, the police are after my tail as this is a police case (because) a law is broken. Frankly I hated the inspector (who) questioned me. I had to face with my (school principal) knowing my situation. It was really hard to face school but I had to go on. Thinking about hate, I couldn't blame the inspector as it is his job and it was my fault to play with fire. I just wish to be left alone and to be asked no more questions. I want to lead a normal life again.

I just want to say that if there are anyone of you out there who is in a situation like this, please don't give up. Please don't go for an abortion, don't kill a life. Memories of the horror are still haunting me. I haven't gotten it over yet. There are times I lose control and get paranoid but life goes on. I would like to thank my doctor for all he has done for me and the people who have helped me along. Thank you.

September 2003